


Help Wanted!!

by Nympharum1356



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Modern Era, Slow Build, Thorin's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-22 17:25:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 24,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12486968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nympharum1356/pseuds/Nympharum1356
Summary: When Hawthorne Greenwing finds a flyer advertising for a live-in babysitting position, as a struggling art student, she's overjoyed. Until she sees the name Thorin Oakenshield on the ad. Applying anyway, she moves in to find Thorin struggling to raise his twin nephews Fili and Kili. Thing's move along until one night Hawthorne comes home covered in bruises. Thorin demands answers, but may not receive the ones he expected.





	1. You make me crazy

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic is kind of a Hobbit and SOA mashup. And YES I know Fili and Kili aren't actually twins, but the first time I watched the movies I thought they were. Inspired by https://i.pinimg.com/originals/cd/f2/b5/cdf2b56e42dfa004474783cad7400aa0.jpg and https://i.pinimg.com/736x/88/4f/7c/884f7ca9ac814af01237ac2b5caae173--kili-hobbit-the-hobbit.jpg

Living and growing up in a small town had its benefits.   
Everyone knew your name, your parents names, how you liked your coffee and what you ate for dinner. Growing up in the town of Blue Mountain, Hawthorne Greenwing knew everyone. She'd gone to school with everyone, had helped babysit everyone's kids.  
Hawthorne saw the ad almost by accident on the window of her favourite coffee shop, Ered Luin. Upon closer inspection she noted the name on the forms and recoiled. Oakenshield.  
“Thorin.” She muttered.   
“Oh aye. Thorin’s been needing help with the boys for a while, though you’d be hard pressed to get him to admit it.” Came a voice from her left. Hawthorne turned to see Bofur, the owner of the shop and one of Thorin’s closest cousins. “I’m sure the boys would love ye, and Thorin would appreciate the help.”  
“I didn’t say I was applying Bofur.” She pointed out. He merely gave her a sly wink.  
“Sure, Miss Greenwing, and I’m also sure those art classes are paying for themselves.” At her stuttered retort, Bofur waved her off. “All I’m asking lass, is that ye meet the boys.”  
“But Thorin –”   
“Is not the young man he was.” Bofur’s voice grew stern. “Taking on his sister’s boys was the hardest thing he’s had to do in his young life, Hawthorne. It’s changed the lad. Give him a chance.” She sighed in defeat.  
“Alright Bofur, you win.”   
-  
Twenty minutes later, Hawthorne found herself in front of the large door to Thorin’s house. Heavy oak with the emblem of his family burnt into the wood. Why was her heart stuttering? It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen Thorin in passing. Why was this different? Because you’re volunteering to live with him, you idiot. Her brain whispered.   
“Deep breath, Thorny. He’s nothing you can’t handle.” She murmured to herself as she reached out for the heavy gold knocker. Who has a solid gold door knocker? Why hasn’t it been stolen yet? Immediately, Hawthorne heard sounds of a scuffle and young voices giggling and yelling, followed by a loud masculine curse.  
“I’ll get it!”  
“No, I’ve got it!”  
“Fili, Kili that’s enough! Kili, don’t you touch that door handle –” Thorin’s voice reverberated through the door just as it was yanked open by a very naked and sopping wet little boy with large brown eyes and long brown hair.  
“Who are you?” he asked. Hawthorne just laughed quietly to herself as Thorin stormed forward, trying to wrangle another wet child, this one blonde. He himself was half drowned, his wet hair clinging to his bare shoulders.  
“Kili!” he growled, “What did I just say about opening that door?” One handed, he picked the boy up and settled him against his shoulder with his brother. “I’m so sorry, they’re such slippery buggers – Oh. Thorn.” It took her a second to realize he’d said her name. Breathe! Her brain was still stuck on the image of Thorin in nothing but a pair of jeans. Inky black hair and water droplets trailed down from his chest right into the waist band of the denim… “Thorn?”


	2. Other Side of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving in with Thorin & the boys!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if its kinda short! I want lots of interaction between Thorin and Thorny!

“Oh! Sorry.” Hawthorne blushed. “Hey Thorin. It looks like you’ve got your hands full.”  
“I—” he winced as Kili yanked on one of the braids behind his left ear. “You have no idea. It’s good to see you. Ow! Fili!” Another giggle. “Uh, did you want to come in?” she laughed. Seeing the large brutish man tripping over himself was such a change.  
“Go settle the boys Thorin, I can wait.”  
“It’s bath time. You mind closing the door?” The boys were still struggling as he walked back toward the rear of the house.  
“Yeah of course. Do you want me to take my boots off?”   
“Nah, keep ‘em on. Never know what you’ll step on around here now.” Thorin muttered as she followed him into the large bathroom in the back. A large wide set tub was filled to the brim with warm soapy water, which the boys eagerly climbed back into.   
“You look like you’re adjusting well.” Hawthorne commented as she watched him handle the boys. Fili and Kili were creating bubble beards on themselves while Thorin was trying to wash their hair.  
“Look Uncle Thorin, we’ve got beards just like you!” Kili exclaimed with glee.   
“And what a fantastic beard it is.” Thorin chuckled in reply.   
“Look Fee!” When the splashing started, Hawthorne retreated to the doorway to simply watch the interaction. It was short lived however, as Fili seemed to notice she was still there.  
“Who’re you?” he asked in his child’s voice.   
“My name’s Hawthorne.” She answered him. Kili stopped splashing to stare at her.   
“What kind of name is Thorn?” he asked.   
“Thorn’s an old friend of mine, boys. We’ve known each other a long time.” Thorin explained. Apparently satisfied with that answer, the boys resumed their splashing. “Well I suppose that’s the most bathing I’ll get done if the two of you are going to splash all the water out of that tub.” When only giggling answered him, Thorin stood and ushered her out, grabbing a towel on his way. Roughly he tousled his hair with it, giving Hawthorne an unrestricted view of the way his arms and chest muscles moved. Stop it! Focus! You came here for a reason!   
“They’re adorable Thorin.” She commented, trying to steer her brain back to the reason she’d come to see him. He gave her a smile as he tossed the towel back into the bathroom.  
“That they are. They’re also keeping me on my toes.” He laughed dryly. “So, what brings you by?” Words failed her in the face of his blue eyes. How does one man look this attractive after nearly ten years?   
“I, uh, Bofur mentioned you were looking for some help? Something about a babysitting ad for the boys?” For the first time in over a decade, she watched Thorin begin to turn a little red as his eyes blew wide.  
“Uh, haha, yeah. I put that up the other day.” Thorin reached up to run a hand over the back of his neck. Standing at over 6’2”, he had a good eight inches on her, something she’d secretly never minded. “Are you applying then? Aren’t you busy with school?”   
“I’ve got midday classes, but they can be rearranged to suit my needs.” Hawthorne replied. “My profs are super flexible.”   
“Ah, well. That helps.” Thorin said, looking a little awkward. Her heart went out to him. Thorin wasn’t accustomed to asking for help. He always did everything himself.   
“What do you need Thorin?” she asked gently. It seemed to jolt him out of his awkwardness.   
“Ah, um. You know it’s a live-in position, at least for a little while, because they’re so young.” She nodded, “They’re starting school soon. The guys have been pitching in and watching them when they can, but they’re a little much for everybody at the shop.”  
“I can imagine. Bath time alone looks like a battle.” Hawthorne laughed. “What else?”  
“Uh, can you cook?” the small shining ray of hope in his face was almost enough to convince her to take this job.  
“Whatever I can’t, I can learn. I’m sure Balin or Bombur would teach me.” She smiled. Thorin returned the smile and grasped her hand.   
“This means a lot to me Thorn, I won’t forget something like this.”   
“I know Thorin. I’m just glad to help.” 

-

“So, unfortunately, Dis had them on some sort of nutritional plan, but it’s kind of been all shot to hell since they moved in. Veggies and fruits are good as far as I’m concerned.” They were running through meals and so forth for the boys. She’d be responsible for getting them up in the morning, dressing them, and keeping them occupied through the day until they started school in two months. She’d gotten the tour of Thorin’s giant house, not that she’d really needed it. Hawthorne could recall every facet of the house in perfect detail.  
“I’ll see what I can do.” She replied. “Grocery budget?”   
“I’ll give you my card to get groceries. How often do you think you’ll need to go out?”  
“I’ll have to see how much the three of you eat first.” Hawthorne laughed. “When I have a better idea of how much you’ll need, one trip a week should be enough, maybe every two weeks.”   
“Well, I guess that’s everything. I’ll have Dwalin make you up a set of keys and I’m sure the guys and I can help you move your things in.” It was her turn to be embarrassed.   
“That won’t be necessary, Thorin. I don’t have much. One trip would do it. I can fit pretty much everything in my car.”   
“Don’t be stubborn Thorn. It’ll take Dwalin fifteen minutes to bring the truck.”   
And that was that.

-

“Thorny my lass, you’ve not changed a bit.” Dwalin’s voice boomed as he exited his 4x4. The burly biker hadn’t changed either, she noted. Surly by nature, Dwalin looked physically intimidating enough to set most people off. Over 6’5” with shoulders like a truck, tattoos across his bald head and down his arms, and scars from head to toe. Most people joked that he’d been a warrior in a previous life.   
“I’m a little taller Dwalin, at least three inches.”   
“Thorin, does she look taller?”   
“Not a bit.”  
“Aye, that’s what I thought.” Dwalin laughed as he pulled her into a giant bear hug. “It’s nice of ye to help Thorin with the boys. They’re a bit much for him, though he won’t admit it.” He whispered in her ear.   
“If they’re any relation of Thorin’s, I have more than an idea.” Hawthorne giggled, rewarded with one of Dwalin’s full belly laughs.  
“Aye lass, ye’ll manage just fine. Now, let’s get ye moved in!”

-

As expected, it took them a single trip to move her things from her mini studio apartment into the spacious bedroom down the hall from Thorin’s. The boys were more than confused about this new addition in their life.  
“What’s she doin’ here Uncle?” Fili asked as he wrestled with his brother. Somehow, he’d managed to pin his brother down and was now sitting on him.  
“Fee! Lemme up!” Kili cried.  
“Thorn’s going to be living here guys. She’s going to be hanging out with you two while I’m at work.”  
“No more playing at the shop?” Fili asked, far too perceptive for a five-year old. Thorin just shook his head and gave his nephew a smile before picking him up from off his brother.   
“Where’s my boys?” Dwalin shouted from the front door.   
“Mister Dwalin!” the boys cried in unison as they rushed up to meet him. Laughing, he scooped them up and onto his shoulders. Hawthorne smiled, watching them interact.  
“Dwalin loves them. He’d never say it, but he lights up when they’re around.” Thorin said to her quietly. “The guys have been great at helping me get them settled.”  
“That’s what the club is right? Family.”  
“Pretty much.”   
“I always knew that.” Hawthorne replied in the same tone. “You guys fight for your own first.” She shrugged. “I’d live that way too if it were my family.”   
“What is that?” Thorin asked, reaching out to grasp her arm firmly. She looked down. Shit. The motion had moved her t-shirt off her upper shoulders, showing awful bruising. Quickly Hawthorne brushed him off, yanking her shirt back into place.  
“Nothing.” He opened his mouth to argue no doubt, but she cut him off. “I’m just going to go unpack and maybe take a nap. Thank Dwalin for me.” Then she hastily retreated to her new bedroom. That was the first secret she kept from Thorin.


	3. Is This Us?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping to add more interaction between Thorin and Thorny!

A short knock woke her a few hours later. 

“Thorn?” it was Thorin’s voice, and though she was mildly awake, she was still entrenched in the land of dreams. She made a mumbled sound that was like ‘come in.’ Her eyes hadn’t opened but she could hear him coming closer to the bed. “Hey.”  
“Mmh?” was her noncommittal sound from facedown in her pillows.  
“I’m heading to work. I’ve got to work late, but I should be back by around one.”   
“Mhm.”   
“The boys are bathed and fed. They’re just playing in their room right now.” Thorin replied, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Hey. Wake up sleepy. If you’re not up by the time I leave, Kili’s going to come and wake you up himself.” Hawthorne grumbled but gave a solid effort at opening her eyes, finding dazzling blue ones less than twelve inches from her face.   
“Hi.” Is that my voice? I sound like I swallowed gravel. Her eyes gave Thorin a lazy up and down, noting his black t-shirt and how it really fit his shoulders. His jeans fit well too…  
“Hey there.” His voice yanked her from her reverie and she suddenly sat up, cracking Thorin in the nose with her forehead.   
“Ohmygod, Thorin, I’m so sorry!” she cried. His face was clinched in pain, but he shook it off, rubbing his nose.  
“Thorn, I’m not made of glass. Seriously, it hurts but I’ll live. I pity the man that sneaks up on you though.” He laughed and backed away from the bed. “Anyway, I’ve got to head off. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”  
“Yeah, see you later.” He gave her a smile and left, leaving her half-awake with an aching forehead.  
“Thorn!” came Fili’s voice minutes later. She groaned and rolled back over. 

-

Three weeks passed this way. Thorin would work during the day while she stayed with the boys and when he came home she’d go to class. Very rarely during these weeks did she sleep. When she did, the boys were likely to come and wake her up with a question or when they themselves couldn’t sleep. She only napped when they did, ate when they did, etc. It had taken the boys three weeks to finally start calling her ‘Thorny’, something that tickled her pink, even at three in the morning.  
“Thorny?” came the tiny voice of Kili. Her door was pushed open and she sighed quietly. She’d gotten in late from classes half an hour ago and had yet to crash.  
“Mmh?” she murmured back.  
“Can we sleep in with you?” Fili asked.  
“Why baby, what’s wrong?” Hawthorne murmured sleepily as she opened her eyes to see the boys standing next to her head.  
“There’s noises coming from Uncle’s room.” That perked her right up. Hawthorne opened her covers for the boys, settling them in.   
“You guys stay here okay? I’ll be right back.” Fucking noise complaints from Thorin’s nephews of all people! He’d better not be jerking off. She stormed down the hall to Thorin’s door, about to knock when she was greeted with a very feminine moan. Hawthorne jerked back and almost fell against the wall. Really Thorin? With the boys right next door?   
Indeed, the boys room was sandwiched between theirs and therefore they got to hear every noise made in each one. “Fucking seriously.” Creeping back down the hallway to her own room, she was greeted by the sight of the boys curled up against one of her pillows. It brought a smile to her face as she crawled back in behind them, one arm draped over them and fell back to sleep.

-

Hawthorne extricated herself from the boys the next morning, peeling Kili’s fingers out of her hair and shifting Fili off her stomach. Smiling, she made her way to the kitchen to start making breakfast. It was Sunday, meaning Thorin was off today and she had no classes. Usually breakfast was a boisterous affair between the four of them. The arrival of Thorin’s guest however, meant today would be different. Still, she started the coffee maker and dutifully began making pancake batter. Fifteen minutes later the boys came in, yawning and rubbing their eyes.  
“Good morning sleepy heads.” She cooed, giving each a hug and pouring them orange juice. “What kind of pancakes do you monsters want this morning?” They took one look at each other and cried ‘CHOCOLATE CHIP!’ Hawthorne couldn’t help but laugh as she started working on the batter again.   
“Thorny?” Kili asked.   
“Yes darling?”   
“Can we have fruit?”  
“Only a little if you still want lots of pancakes.” she smiled, grabbing a small bowl of sliced strawberries from the fridge.   
“Where’s Uncle?” Fili asked. That stopped her as she looked at the clock. 10:30am. Thorin was an early riser by nature, usually meeting her in the kitchen for 9:15 to share a cup of coffee before the boys woke.   
“He’s still asleep I guess. We’ll just have to have our pancakes by ourselves today boys.” She was smiling as she said it, placing the strawberries on the table between the boys. Some part of her heart ached just a little at the words.   
Just as the boys were finishing their pancakes, a scantily clad woman strolled into the kitchen. Her hair was mussed like she’d just crawled out of bed, her lips were slightly swollen, and her mouth was abraded. Purple-brown splotches decorated her neck. A woman Hawthorne knew.  
“Bonnie?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whaaaaaat? Who's Thorin's lady friend?


	4. Who Are We?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorn realizes that she has to find a way to balance her secrets with her new life in the Durin household, but when her secrets come home with her, what then?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW, Bonnie's a b*tchy remake of our dear beloved friend....

Hawthorne could not believe her eyes. Bonnie Baggins had shared Thorin’s bed last night and was now traipsing around his house like she owned it.   
Being several inches shorter than her, Bonnie always had to look up at everyone. With her big brown eyes, she usually had a doe-y eyes countenance that she used to her advantage, preferring to play the meek female when really she'd rip your eyes out.   
“Thorn?” the girl blinked. “What the hell are you doing in Thorin’s house?” She was bleary eyed and clearly hadn’t gotten much sleep.   
“Thorny, what’s ‘hell’?” Kili asked. Fuck. She’d forgotten about Kili’s inquisitive nature and tendency to pick up any word he could.   
“Boys, why don’t you finish your pancakes really quick and go get dressed. I’ll be right there.” Hawthorne said as gently as she could. Ever the perceptive one, Fili pulled his brother out of the kitchen and down the hall. Fuming, she turned her attention back to the fucked-out brunette.   
“Bonnie, why haven’t you gotten dressed and left yet?” The girl shrugged her off and began rummaging through the fridge.  
“Thorin hasn’t gotten up. I figured I’d stick around and see if he wanted to go for round two.” Bonnie looked up over the door and gave her a salacious wink. Hawthorne immediately wanted to punch her in the mouth. “Why’re you here anyway?”  
“I live here Bonnie. Now get dressed and get the fuck out.” She bit out. Bonnie slammed the fridge door.  
“How dare you –”   
“Bonnie. You heard her.” Came Thorin’s gravelly voice. Both women turned to see him leaning against the doorway, his eyes stern. Against her better judgement, Hawthorne’s eyes dropped to see him wearing nothing but half buttoned jeans and she felt her cheeks heat at the sight. Hickeys dotted his neck and upper chest. Her eyes noted the red scratches down his arms and across his shoulders, her fists balling at the effort not to sucker punch Bonnie.   
“How does Thorn of all people get the right to kick me out of your house?” Bonnie screeched. Thorin just rolled his eyes and strode forward to Hawthorne’s side, pressing a kiss to her cheek and grabbing the cup of coffee she’d poured for him. The warmth of his mouth stayed on her cheek and she realized with disgust just where those lips had been.   
“She lives here. She told you that.” He settled against the counter. “You know where your clothes are and where the door is.” The unfeeling look on his face puzzled Hawthorne but did nothing to quell her anger at the two of them.   
“You bitch.” Bonnie hissed. “I knew you were trying to get back into his pants for years. Here’s my proof.” She stalked to the door. “Your grandfather would roll over in his grave Thorin.” That’s enough. Hawthorne stepped in front of Thorin protectively.  
“Get out before I toss you out Bonnie.” She growled. The girl glared but retreated. Minutes later the front door slammed. It took her two more to step away from Thorin and remember how to breathe.  
“I’ve got to go check on the boys. There’s pancakes left in the microwave.” Hawthorne said on her way out the door.  
“Thorn…I’m sorry.” Thorin replied. She just shook her head.  
“I would’ve thought you had better taste in whores Thorin.” His eyes flared, the coffee mug clutched in his hands.  
“Watch your mouth. This is still my house Thorn.” He snapped. “What I do in my own house is my business.”   
“That’s fine by me. You go right ahead and have your dalliances Thorin, but when your nephews wake me up at three in the morning to crawl into bed with me, it becomes my business. Your tramp woke those boys up, not me, but I still pulled them into bed with me and made sure they got a full nights’ sleep. You want to screw every whore in the Blue Mountains? Fine, but do it somewhere else.” Before her anger could get her into more trouble, she took a deep breath. “I’m taking the boys out for the day.”  
“Where?” Thorin growled.  
“Wherever the fuck I feel like.”

-

Fili and Kili loved the park. They chased monsters and orcs through the trees, going on legendary adventures full of dragons and danger. Fili was a master swordsman while Kili manned a bow, both boys so full of life and laughter. Usually it brought the biggest smile to her face as she walked behind them. Today however, she just felt hollow.  
“Penny for your thoughts.” Hawthorne turned around to see Legolas Greenleaf standing just behind her, his lips quirked in a half smile. Dressed in his usual green jacket with a brown hoodie and jeans, he was the perfect outdoor junkie. He tended to sneak up on people and was unnaturally quiet and quick on his feet. Keeping an eye on the boys, she slowed.  
“Legolas, how are you today?”  
“I’m well, thank you. You however, seem troubled.” He easily caught pace with her, walking at her side. “You know I will keep your secrets.”   
“It’s nothing really. I’m just frustrated.”  
“Oh? Am I to assume it’s because of the man you’re now living with?” Legolas asked. She sighed.  
“Do you know everything?” He gave a small laugh at that.  
“Not everything, but I do know Thorin and I can say for sure that he’s an infuriating man if I’ve ever met one.” Legolas jerked his chin at the boys. “Here’s hoping his nephews become better men under your care.”  
“I’m trying. Living with Thorin has its challenges. Especially after…everything.” Hawthorne trailed off painfully. Legolas seemed indifferent, but she knew he was aware of the tenuous situation.  
“He’s requested your presence.” He said quietly. Everything in Hawthorne shot wide awake with nerves. Not again… not so soon.  
“When?” she whispered back, swallowing hard.  
“Tonight.” Her heart stuttered. Not again. “10:30. Be prompt.” She closed her eyes, willing the ache in her chest to go away.  
“Okay.” When she opened them, Legolas was gone.

-

When Hawthorne arrived back at the house that evening, it was well after midnight. She’d told Thorin only that she was going out and not to wait up for her. Seeing the light on in the upper bedrooms, she knew he’d staked out the door and was waiting to talk to her. The problem was, she was in no shape to talk or even interact.  
Sighing, she made her way inside and over to the kitchen, grabbing a quick glass of cold water to steady her nerves and a bag of ice out of the freezer.   
“What did you do?” came Thorin’s voice from behind her. It was angry and a tinge worried? “You sneak back into this house after midnight, grabbing ice and hiding in the kitchen. Not to mention you won’t look me in the eye.”  
“Go to bed Thorin.” She growled, in no mood to deal with his bullshit.   
“You don’t get to disappear on me like this—” he strode forward, grabbing her arm and yanking her around to face him. “You –” Seeing her face and neck, he stumbled back, letting go of her. “What – who¬ did this to you?”   
Wincing, Hawthorne eased herself onto one of the barstools and pressed the ice to her cheek. She knew he could see the bruises, the scratches and the hollowness of her eyes. He didn’t know the story, but he was rapidly guessing. Part of her was scared, the rest of her was just tired and sore.   
“Look, I really don’t have the energy to do this right now Thorin.” She pulled the ice off and gave him a steely glare. “If you’re smart, you’ll turn around and go to bed. Forget you saw me tonight.” That seemed to slap something awake in him because he stopped staring and immediately became angry.  
“You look like you crawled out of a warzone. For fuck’s sake, what if one of the boys saw you?”  
“They’ve never seen me like this.” She snapped. “I’d never ever do that to them.”   
“How long has this been going on Thorn?” he asked, suddenly suspicious. When she hesitated, he pushed. “How. Long.”   
“Don’t.” Dizziness began to press in, making the room wobble.  
“The day you moved in, you had bruising across your shoulders. It’s been over three weeks Thorn, and that’s just how long you’ve been living with me.”   
“Thorin. It’s none of your business.” It was getting harder to stay on the barstool. Nausea began to mix with her dizziness, telling her it was time to make a break for it. Pushing away from the island and off the barstool, she tried to take a step. However, she misjudged her footing and would’ve taken a header off the floor if Thorin hadn’t caught her.   
“Hell if it isn’t my business. I’m getting you into the tub and you’re telling me everything.” He growled, pulling her into his arms bridal style and walking her to the bathroom. She felt drunk. Her limbs wouldn’t work and yet, her brain was fully online.   
“Thorin, put me down.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be almost everything I have pre-written to upload. Now comes the tedious grind of writing more!


	5. I never told you...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin demands answers, but will he accept the ones he's given? WHAT NEXT??!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terrible at writing summaries XD I'm so sorry

“Fine.” He placed her into the tub and cranked the hot water on, then he began pulling her clothes off. As well as she could, she batted him away.  
“Thorin, stop. Seriously.”  
“Either you shut up and help me do this, or I do it myself. You won’t like that very much.” He glared. “Well? What’s it going to be?” Knowing Thorin’s tendency to be a stubborn ass, Hawthorne glared right back but dutifully began undoing the buttons on her sweater.  
“I’m going to get wet before we get these clothes off.”  
“Good. Serves you right.” He growled, beginning at her feet. He pulled her socks off and started tugging on the ends of her jeans. “Undo them.”  
“I am not getting naked in front of you Thorin.” She said, willing vehemence into her voice. Ten years ago, she would’ve willingly bared herself to him, now, broken and bruised, all she wanted to do was hide far away from his gaze.  
“You can keep your undergarments Thorn.” He snapped, not noticing the prick of tears in her eyes. He tugged again on her jeans, this time meaning ‘undo them or I’ll rip them off.’ Rolling her eyes, she unbuttoned them and shimmied out of the now-wet denim, wincing as her hips bumped the tub. Hawthorne didn’t meet his eyes again as she pulled the rest of her clothes off, save her bra and panties.  
“Thorn.” Thorin said hoarsely. Unable to stand his gaze, she brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around herself protectively.  
“Go away Thorin.”  
“Thorn… you’re purple everywhere.” Anger flared in her veins and her eyes shot to his.  
“Gee Thorin. Really? I didn’t know.” Flinging her arms out, she let her anger take hold. “I couldn’t tell that I’m bruised, scratched, scarred, and wincing every time I move.”  
“What am I looking at here Thorn?” Pity. There was pity in his eyes.  
“Survival.” She snapped. “Now get out and leave me alone.”  
“No.” he growled. “Tell me what the hell this is. Now.” Trying to keep her nerve but failing, she dropped her eyes and curled up again.  
“Go away.”  
“Thorn.” The anger and hurt in his voice finally broke her.  
“Your grandfather ran me out of town.” She began. “I had nowhere to go. Nothing to call my own.” She rubbed a hand over her womb protectively. “I did what I could, took work where I could find it, no matter the job. I didn’t care what happened to me. I was working at a club as a waitress when the owner pulled me into his office and decided he wanted something other than drinks.”  
“He held the only lifeline I had, said if I ever said anything or tried to rat him out, he’d fire me and drive my name further into the dirt. So, I kept my mouth shut, even when it hurt, and I wanted to scream. I never gave him the satisfaction.” She took a shuddering breath. “It went on for years, he’d pay me only enough to scrape together money for bills. One day I decided I wanted to leave. I didn’t take anything with me, I just started running. I managed to make it here, finally. I started over, started working with Bofur at the coffee shop, bought an apartment.”  
“And then?”  
“He found me again.” A single tear slipped off her lashes as the ache in her chest grew larger. “He snuck into my apartment one night and…” Deep breath Thorny. “After that, he reminded me that he still owned that small part of my soul. If I didn’t do exactly as he asked, he’d tell everyone in the Blue Mountains what I was and what I’d done. I couldn’t. Not after I’d worked so hard to rebuild here again. So, I go whenever he sends for me.” Deep breath. “Sometimes its bad, sometimes it’s worse.”  
Several minutes passed as the hot water continued to fill the tub, soothing the pain. Unfurling, she slipped down to rest with just her head and neck free of the water, sneaking a glance at Thorin’s face. It was a mask of utter fury.  
“Say something Thorin.”  
“When was the last time?” The rage in his voice made her shy away from him.  
“It’s not important –”  
“I need to know Thorn.”  
“Four days ago.”  
“You’re not going back.” He snarled. Her heart began pounding in her chest.  
“Thorin, you don’t know the kind of power this guy has—”  
“I don’t care. You’re not going back.”  
“I don’t have a choice.” She tried to make him see.  
“Why? Why don’t you? You know what you did was out of survival, so why do you care what other people think?”  
“It’s not other people!” she shouted. “It’s people like you. Dwalin, Bofur, Bard, any of the people I care about.”  
“You know they wouldn’t think any different –”  
“And what about you Thorin? Hmm? You know the whole story now; do you think differently about me?” Again, she bared herself, watching his cringe. “That’s what I thought. Get out and leave me alone.” When he made to say something, she snapped. “OUT.” Thorin cursed angrily and stalked out. Her anger and energy finally spent, Hawthorne buried her head in her hands and sobbed until the water cooled. Then she crawled out and made her way to bed. Once there, she cried herself to sleep. 

-

It was over a week before Thorin spoke to her again in a way that wasn’t necessary. Only around the boys did he appear conversational and only for their benefit. Absently, she began to miss his genuine interactions. The way he’d smile into his coffee about something the boys said, the way he’d laugh when she told him about her ridiculous classmates. There was an ache in her chest that would not go away.  
Fili and Kili were settled in front of the television when Thorin leaned over the back of the couch, startling her.  
“Come with me.” Her eyes flew to his, finding only a pale impassive blue. Mutely she nodded and followed him out to the main entryway. He paced in front of the door while she settled back against the wall, away from him. Finally, he stopped pacing to look at her.  
“How are you, Thorn?” It was the last thing she expected. His voice was soft but restrained, almost like he was holding back. It cracked the ache just a little.  
“I’m recovering. I’ll live.” She said, dropping her eyes away from him.  
“Thorn. Look at me.” He came closer, putting a hand up to her cheek. The warmth shocked her into complying, finding him extremely close. Gently, he bent to press his forehead to hers. Some part of her exhaled in relief at this small contact, closing her eyes. “This is my fault.”  
“No, no it isn’t.”  
“Thorn, shut up.” He chuckled. “I was so angry at what you’d told me that I wasn’t thinking about the reasons why it had happened. If you hadn’t left town, none of this would’ve happened.” When she opened her eyes, he was staring right at her. “I tried to find you. I did, you can ask Dwalin and Bofur, I went after you. I searched for weeks, but when I couldn’t find anything, I decided maybe it was better for you to have gotten out. To get away from…me.”  
“I didn’t have an abortion.” She blurted, unable to hold her tongue anymore. He immediately pulled back.  
“What did you say?”  
“I… I never had an abortion Thorin.” Hawthorne backed away, holding one hand to her abdomen. “Whoever told your grandfather that, I’d like to strangle with my bare hands, but it was a lie Thorin. I swear it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of short chapter sorry!! Will be adding more next time!!


	6. Where do we go from here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited backstory!!

When she’d been seventeen, they’d been so happily in love that neither could imagine life without the other. They’d grown up together and had been high school sweethearts. When Hawthorne had gotten pregnant at eighteen, people had talked and disproved, but Thorin couldn’t have been prouder. A perfect baby boy with ten fingers and ten toes. He’d strut around town, telling anyone who would listen. She couldn’t have imagined ever being so happy. They were in love and they were together. Life was perfect.  
Then she lost the baby.   
Eight weeks later, racked with pains, Hawthorne had gone to the hospital while Thorin was at the shop, praying the baby was okay. Gloin had seen her immediately, taking her into an exam room and looking her over. When his hands had come up covered in blood, she knew. Thorin’s perfect son would never see the light of day.  
“I’m so sorry lass. There’s nothing I can do.” His grief was plain on his face. “Did ye want me to call Thorin?” she’d shaken her head as tears had streamed down her face.  
“I should be the one to tell him.” She’d sobbed. Gloin had wrapped his arms around her, letting her cry. A nurse had come in and asked why the wailing was happening. Gloin had gently asked if he could explain the situation. Hawthorne had nodded blindly. When he’d told the nurse about the baby, she’d left immediately. Hawthorne had thought nothing of it at the time.   
As soon as she’d collected herself enough to stand, Gloin had advised her, “Ye’ll be in some pain for another day or so lass. This will run its course.” A heavy hand on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry for yer loss.” Hawthorne had thanked him for his help and trudged out of the clinic only to be forced against a wall outside by Thorin’s grandfather.  
“Who do you think you are, slut, to take advantage of my grandson?” he’d roared. “To give him false hope of a newborn only to take it away?”   
“What the hell do you mean?” she’d cried back. How did he know about the baby already?  
“You take his child from him and strut around like an injured peacock! If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave this town and never return!” he’d threatened her with bodily harm if she ever came back while he lived. 

-

“Thorn.” It was Thorin, pulling her out of her reverie. “Thorn talk to me.”   
“I lost the baby.” She whispered. “At eight weeks. I was in pain and I went to Gloin, thinking maybe it was just cramps but when he examined me, there was a lot of blood. I knew I’d lost him.” She slid to the floor against the wall. “I’m sorry Thorin.”   
“Why did you leave?” he asked roughly, his voice pained.   
“Your grandfather thought I’d gotten rid of our son. I don’t know why or how he even knew the baby was gone. He cornered me outside the clinic and said if I didn’t leave town, he’d make sure I disappeared in some respect.”   
“So, you left.” Not trusting herself to speak, she just nodded. “Gloin knew then?”  
“I’m sure your grandfather said something to him too.” Gloin was a kind soul and would never harm a fly.  
“I’ll be back.” He strode to the door.   
“Where are you going?”  
“To find the truth.” Then he was gone. Hawthorne didn’t know how long she sat there, bundled against the wall, but at some point, the boys had noticed her absence. She felt Kili tap her knee.   
“Thorny?”   
“Yes darling?”  
“Are you okay?” the concern in the five-year old voice broke her heart.   
“Yes sweetheart, I’m just sad that’s all.” Hawthorne replied.   
“Don’t be sad Thorny.” The boys said together, drawing her up and into the living room with them. Settling on the couch, the boys laid down between her legs and on her chest. Hawthorne fell into a deep sleep to the sounds of the television. 

-

She woke an hour later to the feeling of weightlessness. The boys were no longer entwined on her. Panic immediately set in as she threw herself off the couch. She couldn’t hear them anywhere. No laughter emanated from upstairs or through the kitchen. She ran through the house, searching every room.  
When she couldn’t find them anywhere, she started dialing Thorin’s number. Just as she was about to hit ‘Call’, a voice interrupted her.  
“If ye’re lookin’ fer the boys, they’re with Thorin.” It was Dwalin, seated at the island in the kitchen. “He came home to find ye passed out and the boys with ye. He took em to Nori’s for ice cream, said ye could use the sleep.” Her heart still thundered but knowing where the boys were helped. “Ah lass, ye’ve become attached.” His face was sympathetic. “The boys will never let ye leave now.”   
“Did you stop by for a snack Dwalin?” she asked, breathless from running around the house.   
“No, Thorin asked me to stay in with ye. Said ye’d be worried about the boys when ye woke up and they weren’t there.” Hawthorne sighed.   
“Thorin knows, Dwalin.” He gave her a thoughtful look.  
“Knows what?”  
“He knows I didn’t…” she couldn’t bring herself to say it again.   
“Ah, that. He told me about that as well.” The big biker opened his arms. “Come ‘ere lass.” When he’d enveloped her in his embrace, he held her tightly. “I always knew lass. I knew ye hadn’t. Other than Thorin, no one was happier to have a bairn.”   
“I just don’t know where to go from here.”   
“Ye fear he’ll turn you out?” She nodded into his chest. “Ah Thorny. He would never.”   
“You don’t know that Dwalin.”   
“Ah but I do.” He pulled back and looked her in the eye. “You mark my words lass, Thorin will make things right between ye. Now go on back to bed, I’m sure he’ll have some words for ye when he gets back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili are my favourites. I'm planning to add more interaction between Thorny and the boys I promise!


	7. Can we start over?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New steps are taken, loves are tested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the only bit in Thorin's POV, at least for now! Read, enjoy and as always, give feedback!!

"Thorn?"   
She opened her eyes, barely awake, to find Thorin sitting on her bed. Immediately she was tense.  
"Thorin. Where are the boys?"  
"Crashing with Dwalin in the living room." he smiled. "I think Kili was drooling on his face when I came up." Still uneasy, Hawthorne sat up, looking him in the eye. "How are you?"   
"I woke up and they weren't there. I panicked." she looked away. "You can ask Dwalin. I searched the house for them. Whatever you want to do, kick me out but don't take those boys away from me Thorin. I'm begging you."

\- Thorin's POV - 

The sleepy look on her face as she woke was adorable. In ten years, it hadn't changed. The fear in her eyes however, that was new.   
When Dwalin had told him how frantic she'd been, he could barely believe it. Seeing her now and hearing her please, he knew it was true. She would not be taken from his nephews. Not that he would dare to try. The Company would skin him alive.   
"Thorn, calm down." she obediently took a breath and he wondered how long he could keep from kissing her. Earlier when she'd confessed, he'd been confused. Hurt. Then angry. Angry at her for leaving, angry at his grandfather for forcing her to, angry at Gloin for never telling him the truth. He'd finally cornered the man at the clinic and he'd admitted that Thorin's grandfather, Thrain, had indeed threatened him with bodily harm if he'd ever told a soul about the reason Hawthorne had left.   
His heart had only been broken twice in his life. When he'd come home from the shop to find her gone and a lonely note in her place that simply said 'I'm so sorry.' He'd gone near mad with grief. Then it had been revealed that Hawthorne had gotten rid of the baby. Depression had taken him. He didn't sleep, he didn't eat, he simply existed. Months passed this way until his sister Dis had kicked his ass into living again. 

-

"Go find her and bring her home!" she'd shouted. "You know she belongs here, Thorin. You aren't living anymore and I can guarantee she isn't either!"  
"She left me Dis! She took my child from me and LEFT!"   
"You can't see straight can you? When in your life can you ever remember Hawthorne having a vengeful bone in her body? Hm? Exactly! Now go find her and bring her back."

-

The second time his heart had broken was the day he got the news about Dis and her husband. Taken in a car accident on the highway, they'd both died instantly. Thorin had taken the boys in without question. Battling his grief, he'd stepped up to take care of them, the Company offering whatever help he could. Months later, Hawthorne had walked back into his life, offering to help HIM. Struggling as an art student, trying to make her own way and barely making payments, she'd still offered.   
"Thorn, you're not going anywhere." he said, reaching for her hand. She stiffened but allowed the contact. "I'm not kicking you out, and I'm certainly not taking the best thing that's happened to me and the boys away." The wary look in her brown eyes made him want to roar with rage. Someone had hurt his girl. Badly. He felt like his lungs were being crushed in ice. "Thorn. Say something."  
"I -- I don't know what to say here. I don't know what to do, or where to go from here," she cleared her throat. "Where did you go?"   
"Ah. I went to see Gloin." The mere mention of the doctor's name had her reaching for her abdomen with the hand he wasn't holding, clenching that fist of ice tighter. "We had a long chat about some things."   
"Oh." The simple emotions in that one word made his heart pound. He'd always been able to read her facial expressions, but now he found himself clueless about her emotions.   
"Gloin was going to tell me, after Thrain died, but you'd come back not long after that. He was waiting for you to tell me, I guess."   
"I see."  
"Thorn, look at me." When her gaze found his once more, he found he could finally breathe. "Thank you for telling me. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for taking care of my boys. Thorn, I couldn't take them away from you, because I'd be taking YOU away from them." Deep breath. "And from me."   
"What?"   
"You can move back out if you want, but don't... don't leave me again Thorn. I couldn't do it again."

-

"I -- I don't understand."   
"Thorn, can you do something for me?" when the wary look returned, he had to bite down on his anger at the man who'd hurt her. Being angry in this situation wouldn't help. "Can you stay? At least for a little longer?"  
"Why?" Her eyes flicked around the room again.  
"So I can have the chance to win you back."  
"Wh-- why would you want to do that?"   
"I must be worse than I thought at this if you can't guess." he chuckled. "Thorn, give me a chance. Please." Seeing he would have to explain, he sighed. "I don't want to make you promises. Do you remember when we were younger? I brought you a rose every day until you decided to go out with me." Internally, he laughed at the memory. "Let me do that again. Give me the chance to earn your love."   
"Oh Thorin. I'm not the person you knew." Were those tears? "I'm not the girl you fell in love with."  
"Then let me fall in love with the woman you are. Please Thorn. If not for me, then for the boys." He knew he'd hit the jackpot when she rolled her eyes, tears and all.  
"Cheap move, you prick."   
"There's my Thorny girl." he smiled at her, beaming when she returned it. "Give me two weeks to persuade you." Immediately he saw the mischief he loved so well.   
"Two weeks? That's not a whole lot of time." she remarked. "You'll have your work cut out for you." Lifting her hand to his mouth, he pressed a tender kiss to her knuckles.   
"Thorny, my love, I'm counting on it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Them feels. Lots more to come I promise! If I don't update within a day or so, assume I died, and please. Someone more qualified and better at this take over my fic XD


	8. A rose...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawthorne goes on a wild chase to find Thorin. He surprises her, in more ways than one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No sexy smut yet! I'm sorry but I'm spacing it out so it really means something to the two of them!

The next morning, Hawthorne woke to find a single red rose on the opposite pillow. 

Smiling, she reached for it, finding a note folded underneath. Opening it, she recognized Thorin's swirled writing.

_Hawthorne Elizabeth Greenwing,_

_I'd like to humbly request your presence at the breakfast table this morning._

_If you would do me the honours, I suggest wearing something warm and comfortable._

_All my love,_

_Thorin._

"All my love." she murmured, tracing his familiar signature. The rose was beautiful and smelled wonderful, reassuring her that Thorin hadn't just been blowing smoke yesterday. He'd genuinely asked for the opportunity to court her. Still, she was hesitant. She'd fallen head over heels for him once before and had left him in pain, even as she herself had been battling her own grief. 

_Some wounds never_   _heal,_ she thought. Still, she got out of bed and got dressed before her mirror, picking out a pair of bluejeans, a black tank top and a cozy sweater that said 'Blue Mountain University' on it. It was Thorin's. Lovingly, she pulled it on and sighed. Hawthorne couldn't remember a time when she'd been so at ease. When all she'd had to worry about was getting through school. Now, hoping not to disappoint Thorin, she spritzed on a bit of perfume, took a deep breath, and found her way downstairs to the kitchen.

Thorin was nowhere to be found and neither were the boys. Another note sat on a plate at the island.

_There was a place once that we called our own,_

_do you remember it?_

_Find me there my darling._

_-Thorin_

Hawthorne couldn't keep the smile from her face. She knew, of course, exactly what he meant. When they'd been children, she'd found a meadow out in the woods that bloomed with white trillium's all year. It had always been her place until one day, without her knowing, Thorin had followed her out. They'd shared their very first kiss in that meadow, years later. Whenever they were stressed or needed to get away, they always met out at the meadow. It was the place he'd first made love to her and also where she'd told him she was pregnant. It held a special place in their hearts and she knew for sure, that was where he was today. 

Pulling on a coat and boots, she headed out into the sunshine to find her man. 

-

As she made her way through the woods, she realized the ease with which she moved. She'd finally recovered from the last 'session' she'd had. It had been brutal this time. He'd been in a rare rage, throwing things and being particularly nasty. Hawthorne was surprised she'd been able to make it home in all honesty. The fact that Thorin had seen the damage up close and had still done all of this made her heart beat faster in her chest. Maybe things would finally work out. She began rushing through the trees, desperate to find him. Stumbling into the meadow, she realized Thorin was nowhere to be seen. Hawthorne sighed in disappointment.

"Where are you?" she asked the open air. The trilliums were in full bloom, their blossoms open and welcoming. Much like her heart. In her soul, she knew she was ready to be with Thorin. Her mind was the traitorous one, telling her that after all she'd been through, Thorin wouldn't want damaged goods. Her heart though, it had always beat for Thorin Oakenshield. Another note attached to a tree caught her eye. Stuck into the wood with an arrow?  _Who does that?_ Gods, he was so cheesy. Smiling, she pulled the note down.

_Not much farther to go, amralime._

_Where did I spend an afternoon painting your body?_

- _Thorin_

Her cheeks warmed at the memory. She'd brought multiple paint cans over to Thorin's house once and she'd spent a whole morning sketching him nude in the attic of his house. He'd fallen asleep laying on one of the couches, his hands tucked under his chin. The way light had played over his muscles had driven her mad. She'd absolutely had to paint him. After half an hour, he'd woken up with a sexy grin on his face. 

"Are you going to sit there and paint away the day?" she'd laughed and flicked a gob of paint at him. "It's my turn to play love." Somehow, he'd managed to get her onto the floor, with her hands bound to the legs of the couch. She was stretched naked beneath his gaze. He'd given her that sexy grin again as he dipped his fingers into multiple paint cans. "Try to stay still darling..." Then he'd painted every inch of her body, over and over

-

He was back at the house! Hawthorne smiled to herself as she raced out of the woods. Barely remembering to put on a seat belt, she drove back, her mind going wild.  _What was next?_   Parking, she bounded up to the house and strode in. 

"Thorin?" she called. No sounds greeted her.

Hawthorne made her way upstairs, her feet remembering the path to the attic easily. "Thorin?" 

"It took you long enough, amralime." his voice greeted her from the couch she so fondly remembered. She blushed. He was lazily sprawled across the couch in jeans and a black tee, his hair and braids down. An ice bucket sat on the floor with a bottle of wine along with a pair of glasses. His gaze was as hot as her cheeks felt as he took in her outfit. "You look gorgeous." Her heart fluttered at his comment. "I'm glad to see you remembered this fond memory." 

"How could I forget?" she smiled. He returned her smile as he sat up. "Where are the boys?"

"Dwalin's got them for the day." he took her hands in his and pulled her down to lay on his chest. "It's just you and me here." Her bravado seemed to desert her and her nerves returned. 

"So, what's the plan for the day then?" Hawthorne laid her head on his chest, adjusting to fit her curves into his muscled body. After ten years... they still fit. She relaxed as his arms came around her.

"You and I are going to stay in this attic, drinking wine and enjoying each other's company." he rumbled. She could only smile. It was exactly what they'd done for their first date.

"I think that sounds wonderful, Thorin." Angling up, Hawthorne kissed his cheek and snuggled into him.

They talked away the afternoon and most of the evening that way, swapping secrets and stories just the way they used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I picked Trillium's because I'm Canadian and I just think they're such a pretty flower. More to come!!
> 
> To anyone reading this after Oct 31st, I AM in the process of writing Chapter 9! I'm so sorry for the wait, I've just gotten caught up with work and I'm battling a nasty infection. More to come for Thorin and Thorny I promise!!


	9. A Ride...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date number two between our lovebirds, but trouble arises...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY I WAS GONE SO LONG! I promise I'll be on a regular two day update schedule from now until finish!! Plz don't hate me!

"Did you have anything you wanted to do today love?" Thorin asked over the lip of his coffee mug. Dressed today in slacks and a tank, Hawthorne couldn't keep her eyes off him. She smiled, remembering the second rose she'd found on her pillow this morning. 

"I've got no plans." The boys were going out for a play date with Gloin's son, Gimli, leaving the two of them alone once more. Thorin grinned before downing the rest of his coffee.

"Get dressed and meet me in the garage in ten minutes." 

-

Hawthorne found her way to the garage, dressed in jeans, a black blazer and knee high black boots to see Thorin dressed much the same, but in a black leather jacket that made her toes curl. His hair was tied back as he fitted on a pair of leather gloves. Behind him stood his motorcycle, a gorgeous 2017 Harley Davidson Superlow. Hawthorne could barely contain her joy. They'd always loved riding together until she'd gotten pregnant and he'd adamantly refused to allow her anywhere near his bike. 

"Feel like a ride today amralime?" Thorin held a helmet out to her, his eyes dancing. Eagerly she took it from him and strapped it on. 

"Born ready." she purred. Hawthorne watched as Thorin easily straddled the bike, having to keep from drooling as he started the engine. He was  _so sexy_ this way. All decked out in black leather, looking mean and beastly. He noticed her staring and smirked, patting the seat behind him. 

"Climb on darlin." She slid onto the bike just as he revved, the vibrations making her bite her lip. Ten years ago, he'd parked under the stars along the edge of a back road and had made her scream his name using nothing but the purr of the engine. She had no doubt he was remembering the same night as she slid her hands over his waist. "Comfy?" she nodded as she buried her head against his shoulder, inhaling the scent of Thorin. Of leather and musk. It comforted her in the best way. The garage door slid up as Thorin revved again. "Hold on sweetheart." 

Her last thought as they blazed out of the garage was that things were finally falling into place.

-

Hawthorne and Thorin spent the day blazing trails down every back road in the Blue Mountains, the wind howling around them. They passed miles and miles of forests and drove out to the city of Dale, stopping at one of the cafes for lunch. 

"Well? Has much changed in Dale since you were here last amralime?" Thorin asked. They were seated on a small patio with sets of chairs and tables, hot coffees in hand. Hawthorne had to admit she'd had a wonderful day. Rediscovering the mischievous and playful side of Thorin was proving to be an adventure all on its own. Hawthorne looked around to see the flourishing town, noting that barely a thing had changed. A few shops here and there had been decorated, some had become new businesses. All of this she mentioned to Thorin. 

"All of that?" he chuckled. "Your memory is far sharper than my own." Hawthorne couldn't help but smile as she gazed at him. His hair was wind whipped and adorably tousled from where he'd run his fingers through it. His eyes sparkled with a glow she hadn't seen in a long time and he was more relaxed than she'd seen him in over a decade. This was her favourite side of Thorin, one she almost never got to see anymore. The side of him that came out when he didn't have to shoulder his responsibilities and be the leader everyone knew he was. This was  _her_ Thorin. 

"Where shall we go next?" she asked. Thorin gave her a smile and shrugged.

"Wherever you'd like. We can keep riding through or we can head home. It's your call darlin'." she loved that it was her choice. Thorin had never taken a choice from her, ever, in all the time they'd known each other. He'd never made a decision for her or assumed authority over her choices. Something she loved him even more for --  _Wait. Did she?  Was she already in love with him?_ Mentally Hawthorne shook herself. Outwardly, she smiled as she shifted her riding jacket back on.

"I'll bring the coffee cups back in and we'll go from there." Gathering them up, she leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek, delighted when he gave her one in return.

"Hurry back." he replied as he unfurled from the patio chair, shrugging on his own leather jacket. Dimly, she heard the girls behind her whispering about him and smiled to herself.  _Yes ladies, he's hot. He's also mine._ Hawthorne was grinning the whole way inside as she set their cups on the counter and paid the bill. She made nonsense conversation with the cashier until a chillingly familiar voice wiped the smile off her face.

"My, my. Look what I've found." 

-

No. No it wasn't possible. 

Ice crawled through her veins as she turned and came face to face with her nightmare. 

Thranduil. His piercing blue eyes mockingly took in her outfit before flitting to the external windows where Thorin lounged on the bike. She could see him rapidly putting the pieces together. Strangely, he was sober. He didn't reek of the sickening sweet wine that he usually drank like water. He was sleekly dressed in a sharp black suit with a sapphire blue tie, his golden hair flowing over his shoulders. With a sneer on his face, he looked back at her, unaware of the sickening twist in her stomach as she felt his gaze. 

"I'm glad to see you've healed after our last session,  _mela._ " he drawled, the sneer still on his features. He reached out and stroked a finger down her cheek, making her skin crawl. "Does your new lover know about our  _sessions?_ " Hawthorne swallowed painfully as she mutely shook her head. "Ah, I see. Shame is a good colour on you." he whispered in her ear. "Shall I tell him all the things you beg me for? All the terrible things you ask me to do?" His voice was smooth like cream but Hawthorne felt like she was choking on curdled milk. 

"Please..." she begged. "Please don't." He chuckled darkly as he drew away. 

"I'll expect to see you on Tuesday evening. Wear what I bought you. Eight pm sharp." He turned on his heel and left. Hawthorne sunk into the nearest chair and put her head between her knees to keep from throwing up. Her heart was racing in her chest and her mind was imploding. This precipice she walked to keep the two halves of her life separate was dangerous. They'd very nearly collided today. What would she do if Thranduil told Thorin everything? In her mind she kept seeing the disgusted look on his face when he found out how she'd been used and abused by Thranduil. She could feel the crushing agony as Thorin turned away from her.  _Deep breath Thorny._  

Several deep breaths later, she found her heart beat still racing, but her stomach had moderately quieted. Now she had to face Thorin. God, why was fate so cruel? Hawthorne pasted on her best smile as she forced herself to walk outside and not look like a skittish deer as she glanced around for Thranduil. When he was nowhere to be found, she sighed in relief. Thorin waved her over. 

"You were in there for a while, are you alright amralime?" he asked. "You look kinda pale." Again, she forced a smile, hoping it was convincing.

"I'm fine Thorin. I was just going to say I think I'm ready to head home, how 'bout you?" Thorin gave her an uncertain look but started the bike regardless. 

"No problem hun. Let's go home." 

-

The drive back was quiet and uneventful, even while Hawthorne's mind raged.  _Do I tell him?_   _No! Of course not!_ It played on a constant loop. 

Preoccupied with her thoughts, she barely noticed when they made it back to the house. Numbly, she climbed off the motorcycle, the fake smile still plastered to her face. Almost robotic in motion, she put away her gear and made her way upstairs to the bathroom where she cranked the shower taps on full blast and stripped. Climbing in, she sat beneath the spray and just let the hot water wash over her, searing away her sins. In her stupor she hadn't noticed that she hadn't closed the door. Or that Thorin had followed her.

"Thorn?" his voice was soft. Worried. She didn't look up. There was too much to say. It was bottled inside her, fighting its way out but she was choking on the words. "Thorn talk to me." 

"I can't." she murmured. "Don't you see? I can't..." Thorin came to sit next to the tub to hear her better.

"Thorn, what happened today? Everything was fine before you went into the shop. You came out and it was like someone had taken everything out of you and left a walking shell." She made a noncommital sound. "Dammit Thorn, you can't just withdraw like this! What happened?" he demanded. She looked up then, taking in the concerned look on his face, noting the affection that drove him and knowing it wasn't going to last. 

"Tuesday night." she turned back to the tub. "That's when I go back." Thorin made a sound like someone had sucked all the air from his lungs. He knew what it meant then. 

"You're not going." he growled. She laughed dryly. "I mean it Thorn. You're not going."

"Thorin, you can't stop a man like him. Do you know what happens to the men and women who try? They  _disappear._ " She could hear the hollowness in her own voice and wondered how much pain and emptiness she was really hiding if she was ever honest with herself. 

"Thorn, don't make me lock you in this house. He can't get you in here. I'll have the guys here 24/7." Her heart broke at the determination in his voice. He still didn't get it.

"Thorin, he'd go after anything you cared about. Anyone. He'd torch Bofur's cafe, the bike shop, anything he thought meant anything to you and me. I will not let that happen." He stood angrily and banged a fist against the wall.

"Dammit Thorn! I'm not letting you sell yourself like this! You're home dammit! You're home with me and the boys and that's the end of it." He stopped then. "Wait. How do you know that you have to go back?" 

 _Fuck._  

"Thorn, answer me. He was there today wasn't he? He was in that god damned shop with you today." The fury in his voice made her cringe, knowing it was tearing a hole through the fragile peace they'd built. Distantly, she heard the front door open as the twins spilled in the door with Gloin and Gimli in tow. He growled again in his throat. "This discussion isn't over Thorn." the quiet threat in his voice shattered her more than Thranduil ever could as he closed her in the bathroom and went to see his nephews. 

Hawthorne knew it was more than a closed door between them and it was all she'd ever get if Thranduil got his hands on him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come! I promise a two day update!


	10. Why are we this way?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorn's PTSD from Thranduil 
> 
> Mostly Thorin's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update!! More to come by Sunday I promise!

Hawthorne spent four days in mental agony. 

On the outside, she was perfectly fine. She'd smile and put on a good show for the boys, even Thorin, though he knew better. 

Inside, she was rotting away. All the progress she'd made with Thorin was gone. He looked at her in anger and worry, but not with the tenderness she'd come to see in his expression. She barely ate, she could hardly sleep. When she did manage to fall asleep, heavily medicated, all she saw was Thranduil's face as he leered at her. Or Thorin's as she begged him not to leave her.

What she didn't know, was how often she woke up screaming. How many times Thorin had to bring Fili and Kili into his room while he sat on Thorn's bed with her, lulling her back to sleep. He'd never forget her screams, the way they told him more than she could. They told him the agony she was in, the terror she experienced with each of these sessions. If he ever got a name out of her, he'd kill the man who'd hurt his girl. The distance that had grown between them was more than he could bear, becoming a great weight in his heart as he too counted the days until she'd come home bruised. 

"Thorny, what am I going to do with you?" he asked softly, watching her sleep from the armchair across her room. He'd gotten the boys down an hour ago, amid choruses of ' _Is Thorny okay? What's wrong with her??_ ' He loved them to death and couldn't bear to tell them that Thorn's problems were eating her from inside and no amount of hugs would help until he could get her free of her abuser. 

Suddenly Thorn started tossing in her sleep. Knowing she could start screaming any minute, he launched off the chair and got to her side as quickly as possible.

"Thorn, it's okay." he crooned, trying to keep her hands away from her face. The first night she'd tossed like this, she'd scratched herself pretty bad and he worried she'd do worse damage during one of her episodes. Her eyes fluttered open momentarily, pure white before they closed again. Middle of a nightmare, he knew better than to hold her arms down. She'd been frantic the one time he'd pinned her arms, probably bringing back a memory, given the reaction. 

" _No... no stop.. please.."_ She murmured between gulps of air. The litany of words were now terribly familiar. She'd beg and cry, breaking his heart into a million pieces. Thorin knew whatever nightmares she had, her reality was so much worse.

"Give me a name baby, please. Please give me an answer." he whispered back. He'd plead every night for  _something_ that might let him help her. "Anything amralime." 

" _Gree....Gree..."_ What? Thorin leaned closer to her. She was trying to get a word out, he was sure of it. Something in her subconscious was trying to tell him.

"C'mon baby." he encouraged gently, massaging her wrists soothingly.

" _Green...."_

_"Green.....leaf...."_

Greenleaf. He had a name. One that was all too familiar.

 

-

 

"Dwalin, can you pop by the house today?" Thorin asked at the shop the next morning. "Just to check on Thorn?" Dwalin leaned up from the bike he'd been working on and gave him a questioning look.

"Something up with your girl?" It was a casual question, but Dwalin knew how he felt about Thorn. He was also the closest thing she had to a father. Thorin just nodded.

"Hasn't been sleeping well, won't eat either." He watched the older man's brow crease in worry.

"I'll pop by, see if maybe I can bring over something of Balin's." Dwalin assured him. Thorin clapped him on the shoulder in gratitude. "Are things okay between you two?" It stopped Thorin in his tracks. No. No they most certainly weren't. She'd retreated behind a wall and refused to come out, like a dragon guarding her own beating heart.

"We're....working on it." It was as close to the truth as he could get. For now, the best thing he could do to help her was get a hold of Legolas Greenleaf. Dwalin nodded sagely before giving him a final look.

"Take care of her Thorin. Make things right between the two of you, it's about time you guys were a family again." Thorin could only smile at him. 

"That's the plan."

 

- 

 

An hour later, Thorin was parked outside Mirkwood University, his eyes scanning every visible entrance for a wisp of blond hair. He'd corner Legolas at any cost to get answers. Timing his visit correctly, he watched as students began to pour from the exits, biding his time. As a teacher, Legolas was one of the last to appear. For the life of him, he could never remember what the prick taught. Archery maybe? He had to remember to keep his temper on a leash. Thorin was here for answers, not to give the blonde the beating he deserved. 

After what seemed like a lifetime, Thorin finally saw him. Hardly dressed like his colleagues, the young Greenleaf was adorned in jeans and a white shirt, a black case hanging from his fingers. Walking briskly, Thorin beelined to Legolas, his anger obvious in his eyes. When the blond noticed Thorin coming toward him, he rolled his eyes but let himself be waylaid. 

"Oakenshield." Legolas greeted him coolly. Thorin reigned in his fury, but only just, and only for Thorn's sake. 

"We need to talk." he bit out. "Now." 

"I haven't the time or patience Thorin." Legolas moved to brush past him but Thorin grabbed his arm. 

"Let me rephrase,  _Greenleaf_ ," Thorin snarled, "I have questions and you're going to answer them or things will get very unpleasant for you." The blond growled but nodded as his arm was released. Stepping back, he motioned Thorin to follow him. Several outbuildings dotted the campus. Legolas led them to the closest one, shutting them inside before turning to Thorin.

"I'll assume this is about Hawthorne." 

"When was the last time you saw her? Don't bullshit me either Greenleaf. I'll know if you're lying to me." Thorin snarled. He had an innate ability to tell when people lied and if Legolas dared, Thorin wouldn't be responsible for his injuries. Legolas' eyes flared at the insult, but answered honestly.

"Two weeks ago." 

"The reason you saw her?" Calculating in his head, Thorin placed the date as the one when he'd found Thorn in his kitchen, bruised and bleeding. His anger ratcheted up another notch. 

"I was sent to deliver a message." The blond answered, nonchalantly examining his nails. He'd set the case down by the door, but Thorin knew Legolas could get to it faster than he could.

"By who?" 

"None of your business." Legolas snapped. 

"Hawthorne came home that night, bruised, cut up, and barely conscious. You really want to keep answers from me Legolas?" The blond was wiry and quick, but Thorin was protecting the woman he loved. His fury was his shield and his strength was his weapon. Legolas looked shocked by his admission, concerned even.

"No. He'd never..." He stuttered. "He's never hurt them before..." Faster than Thorin could blink, Legolas whipped out a cellphone and began texting rapidly. When it became clear he was getting no answers, Legolas looked at Thorin helplessly. 

" _Tauriel."_ he whispered. Thorin froze. He knew that name. Tauriel was Legolas's childhood girlfriend. "She works with Hawthorne." the blond choked out. "I haven't gotten an answer and she always texts me after her shift..." Panic. That's what Thorin was seeing on the other man's face. Fear from a man who was always so put together and calm. 

"Give me a name Legolas." Thorin urged. "I'll get her out I promise." He had his own cellphone out now, ready to text the Company at a moments notice. Legolas was shaking his head, still falsely loyal to some unnamed person. 

"I can't..." the blond was torn between love and loyalty. Thorin understood, he'd once been the same and had chosen wrong. It'd cost him Thorn and he was damned if he'd ever let that happen again.

"Legolas, if you don't give me a name and a place, Tauriel is going to end up like Thorn. Maybe not today, but sometime. You've gotta help me out here man. For both our sakes. I just want to protect Thorn. C'mon man, help me out here."

Pained eyes met his as Legolas made his choice.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feedback and kudos are appreciated!!


	11. Conflict and Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Legolas struggles with the guilt of his betrayal and the loyalty to his lady love. Thorin's hold on his anger snaps.

"Thranduil." Legolas breathed. "My father." 

Thorin's blood raced as his anger began to paw in his chest like an angry bull. The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. Legolas had  _known_ it was his father. He'd known and said  _nothing._ Tauriel and Hawthorne had been abused and raped, along with countless others, and he'd stood by and done NOTHING. 

"I should kill you." Thorin snarled, his eyes on the fear stricken blond. "I should make you suffer the way she suffered." The words were like physical blows on Legolas, but Thorin couldn't be stopped. "She screams in her sleep because of what he did to her. Because of the things  _your father_ did. My boys cry themselves to sleep because she's not the same anymore. YOUR FATHER IS TEARING MY FAMILY APART!" Something seemed to snap in Legolas as his eyes seemed to freeze over.

"I wasn't the one who signed Hawthorne's name to her contract. I wasn't the one who made her keep her mouth shut!" Legolas shouted, his voice echoing loudly in the empty room. "I didn't do anything but tell her when he wanted to see her." 

"You found her, didn't you?" Thorin asked quietly after putting it together in his head. Legolas had found her after she'd left and had allowed Thranduil to pull her back into his sickly spider web. 

"What?"

"You found her for him. After she ran. You're the reason he found her here." As he watched the blood drain from the blond's face, his fury was like ice in his veins, freezing him from the inside out. He didn't feel it when his knuckles made contact with Legolas' jaw. He didn't feel it the second time either. Red blossomed on Legolas' skin as he was knocked to the floor. Thorin merely stepped over him and made for the door.

"If I ever see your face again Greenleaf, I'll kill you."

-

The phone rang at the shop while the boys were working on a new client's vehicle. Oil slicked hands picked up the receiver. 

"Hello?" 

"Dwalin! It's Thorin." 

"Hey boyo." 

"Listen, I need you to send a pair over to the house with Thorn and the boys. I need the rest of the Company to meet me at The Palace." 

Click. Dwalin quietly replaced the receiver before turning to the crew.

"Boys! Saddle up!" 

No moments later, eleven bikes roared out of the garage. Heads turned throughout town as the road shuddered beneath the fury of engines. Everyone knew when you heard that many at one time, something was wrong and the Company was out to set shit the way it should be. 

- 

Thorin was pacing. His thoughts were running around in his head, keeping him distracted until the Company showed up. Images of the night Thorn had come home covered in blood and bruises. He remembered the hopelessness in her eyes, the pain whenever she moved. He'd been so overwhelmed at the time, but he'd noticed all the same. There was a hollowness to her voice that spoke volumes about her familiarity with these incidents. He shuddered to think of how many times he'd missed her coming home, aching and bleeding. It tore at Thorin's heart to think of her needing his help and he just wasn't  _there._  

The roar tore him from his thoughts. He turned to watch the Company pull in, the collection of Harley's and Yamaha's a masterpiece of metal and chrome. The throaty purr of the engines steadied him and for half a second he felt peace. His family was here. Together, they'd fix this broken situation. Dwalin stepped off his bike and strode forward, offering Thorin a hand and clapping him on the back. 

"What's this then Thorin?"

"There's no easy way to say this...." In short pained sentences, Thorin explained the situation to Dwalin. He watched the man's face move from incredulity to anger to shock to fury. Dwalin eyed the establishment with disdain. 

"Ye mean to say, we're here to collect that bastard's head, aye?" Thorin could only nod. "Right then. Shall we?" 

-

Legolas sat in his own apartment, waiting for Tauriel to come home. He chewed the inside of his cheek raw as he deliberated. Did he call his father to warn him of Oakenshield's eventual arrival? Did he admit his betrayal? 

"Fucking Oakenshield." he growled to the empty rooms. Panic began to take over him as he watched the clock. Tauriel should've been home by now. She should have been home before him. She --

The lock clicked to the front door, Legolas' attention snapped to the other room as he bounded to his feet. Rushing to the door he watched her walk in, noting she stepped gingerly. Concern was forefront in his mind. 

"Tauriel?" she hadn't said anything. "Baby?"

"Legolas! I didn't think you'd be home so early..."  _Why was she hiding her face?_  

"Tauriel look at me." She took a shuddering breath as she turned. Legolas stepped back as his breath was sucked from his chest.

Across Tauriel's left eye was black and purple. Spots around her throat were smaller bruises.  _Fingerprints._ Her left eye was bloodshot from impact and there was an open set of scratches down her throat. Shame coloured her face as she watched his. 

"Legolas, melanin.... I'm so sorry...." Tauriel whispered. The words were tinged with fear, sparking the guttural fury in him.

_"I will destroy him."_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short! More coming!!


	12. Update!

Hi guys!

I'm so sorry I haven't updated. I just want a new direction for this fic, so I'm asking what my readers want.

Do you guys want more of the current, or a backstory on how the two met?

 

Lots of love for all my readers and mega thank you for all of the kudos and support!!


	13. A Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and gents hello hello! I'm so sorry this chapter has taken literally forever and it's absolutely tiny, but I didn't want to go through a whole lot of backstory. Hope y'all like it!

**November 10th, 2009**

How was Ancient Languages supposed to guarantee her a spot in Blue Mountain U's artist program? 

Hawthorne sighed as she tied her hair up off her neck, only to let it back down again moments later. She was stressed. She sucked at languages and in her last year of high school, she finds out its a pre-requisite for the university program she wanted.  _Dammit._  The cafeteria noise around her served only to blur her surroundings as music pounded away her headache. The lines of text became fuzzy the longer she stared and it made her eyes hurt. Someone tapped the table in front of her, drawing her attention and her earbuds out. Vibrant blue eyes held hers as she came face to face with the most handsome man she'd ever met.

"Hey there." his voice was deeper than she expected, a rough timbre that matched his physical build. Her eyes swept over him appreciatively. A green Erebor football jersey was tight across his shoulders, with blue jeans that hugged heavily muscled thighs.  _Damn._  

"Uh..hi." her brain fizzled out momentarily. 

"You look like you could use some help. Can I ask what you're working on?" When she failed to come up with an answer, he flushed. "Sorry, that sounds awful now that I've said it out loud." he offered his hand, which she numbly took, "My name is Thorin. I think you're in my AL class."  _AL?_

"Oh! Yeah, I recognize you. I'm Hawthorne." He smiled at her and something fluttered in her chest. 

"Having troubles?" Dropping her hand, Thorin slid into the seat across from her. 

"Ha.. yeah maybe a little. I suck at Ancient Languages." Hawthorne rubbed her temples in frustration.

"What's getting you down?"

"Everything." she groaned. Thorin gave her a flirty smile as he said something in perfect, fluent Khuzdal, one of the ancient languages she needed to master. "What did you just say?" Other than his perfect pronunciation, she discovered she mostly just enjoyed watching his mouth as he spoke. 

"Maybe if you paid a little more attention in class, you'd know." Giving her a saucy wink, he stood, turning to leave but a passing teacher caught him on their way by. 

"Thorin!" Ms Galadrielle greeted him. "How wonderful to see you. I was hoping to run into you just in case you finally had that piece finished for me?" Galadrielle was the school's art teacher and based on the bright red flush on Thorin's cheeks, he owed her an assignment, a big one. 

"Ms Galadrielle, so good to see you. About the assignment...." He floundered around for an excuse before Hawthorne came to his rescue. 

"We were just working on it Ms Galadrielle. In fact, Thorin and I are both almost finished and will have them handed in by Thursday." 

"Oh that's wonderful to hear darling. Thorin, I look forward to seeing your assignment bright Thursday morning." She gave him a stern look before she continued her walk. Thorin spun on the spot to give her an incredulous look but Hawthorne merely returned the wink he'd given her. 

"Here's how this is going to work. You're going to sit down and help me through this awful Ancient Languages course and in return, I'll help you handle Galadrielle's art program. Deal?" Thorin just stared at her as if she were some exotic fruit he couldn't decide was poisonous or not. "I said, do we have a deal?" Without a word, he sat back down at the table, the odd look still on his face.

"I said you were pretty." he mumbled. It was her turn to stare.

"What?"

"In Khuzdal, I said you were beautiful."  _Oh._  

"Well, thank you." 

"No problem Thorn, I'll help you." With a heart melting smile, he walked her through the dialect verbs and conjugations. 

-

After that day, if Thorin sat next to her every class, neither of them ever mentioned it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come!! Thank you to everyone being so patient for this fic :) You guys rock!


	14. Do You Remember the Night?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be two POV's! One in Thorny's, one in Thorin's. Do they catch old Thrandy? This chapter is kind of set between Chapter's 10 and 11. Beginning with Thorny's after Thorin leaves until it switches to his POV at the Palace.
> 
> Chapter Warning: Graphic description's of trauma (emotional mainly, but physical as well), implied rape and abuse. Read at your own risk, just know that you've been warned!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii everyone! Ladies and gents, thank you so much to your kudos and feedback since the beginning. Now that I've sorted my shit and removed certain 'problems' from my life, I've got more time to write! Yaaaay! Hoping to finish two more chapters this weekend!

 

**Hawthorne's POV**

 

_Lights. He always made the light so bright that she couldn't see._

_She could never see what came next, she could only grit her teeth as she waited for the next flash of pain._

_Her arms thrashed in the restraints, the burn marks on her wrists rubbing painfully against the metal._

Hawthorne thrashed against her sheets, caught in the grips of a nightmare. Sweat beaded on her skin, soaking the tee shirt she'd borrowed out of Thorin's laundry. She whimpered as she felt the lash of phantom agony.

_Keep your eyes closed, keep your lips pressed together so you don't whimper or make any sounds._

_Let the tears fall, he likes that._

_Don't scream, he likes that too._

_Maybe he'll stop. Maybe his arm will get tired and he'll stop._

_No._

_He never gets tired._

_He never stops_ _._

Hot wax on bare skin. The cruel laugh in her ear.

_Look at you._

Another lash.

_Look at how you writhe and moan._   _You're so pathetic._

Another. 

_What would they all say if they could see you now?_

Her heart is racing, her lungs trying to keep up as she panted in her sleep.

"No..no more." Hawthorne whispered to the darkness in the back of her mind, unaware that the words were passing her lips as well. 

_What did you say?_

"No... No... Please...stop..."

_Stop? Oh no, you don't get to use that word._

"Please.. make it stop.." 

_I own you._

Thorn shot up out of sleep gasping, barely conscious as she rolled out of bed, stumbling down the hall to empty her stomach in the bathroom. The acid burned, further rooting her back in reality. The cold press of the porcelain against her cheek pulled her brain back away from the tendrils of her nightmare. Her eyes watered, staining her cheeks with saltwater. Hawthorne coughed, drawing air in like a vacuum to soothe the heart raging in her chest.  _Nightmare, just a nightmare,_ she chanted against the darkness.  _Not real._  

Ten minutes later when she could breathe without stuttering or heaving, she pulled herself to her feet. Braced against the vanity, she avoided her own reflection, face down in the sink as she began to brush her teeth. The peppermint washed away not only the acid, but the disgusting feeling of plastic between her teeth. Just thinking about it made bile rise in her throat again.  _Deep breath Thorny._   _You've got this._  Gathering enough courage, Hawthorne slowly lifted her face to the mirror, bracing for the worst. The circles under her eyes had gotten worse; they were darker and deeper. Had she lost weight again? Her back and shoulders were tight as she stood straight, too long spent curled in the fetal position. Gods, she hadn't looked dead like this since after her recovery from the miscarriage. Alone in a motel room, she remembered the agony of loss, made worse by her aching loneliness. The sheer lack of Thorin made it torture. Hawthorne could remember watching the sun's patterns on the chipped paint, clenching her jaw against the pain. 

The cold water did not help.

The hot water didn't help either. It was never hot enough.

Two small knocks on the door dragged her attention away from the mirror and the memory. Fili and Kili were standing at the bathroom door, their eyes wide and fearful and sad. Hawthorne's heart squeezed painfully as she sunk to the bathroom floor with her arms open. The boys were quick to jump in her lap, their tiny arms wrapped around her. She hugged them hard to her, knowing full well that the only reason she'd ever come back to herself was for these two. For Thorin. 

" _Fili, Kili. Sweethearts, I'm so sorry."_  

"Thorny, are you okay?" Kili asked, his head tucked between her neck and shoulder. She pressed her lips to the top of his head, nuzzling him gently. Kili, her gentle soul. Fili, her fierce protector.

"I am now, baby." 

"Good. We missed you." Fili said on her other side. Thorn could only smile sadly to herself. This brief moment of lucidity was breaking her heart. It wouldn't be long before her fear enveloped her once more. It would be tonight. Tonight she had to go.

"Uncle Nori and Uncle Bombur are here." Kili said as he squirmed out of her lap, his hair stuck in places around his face. "Can we go have breakfast?" Thorn blinked. They were here? In the house? 

Why?

"You boys are still wearing your pajamas. It isn't Pajama Day. Go get dressed and come downstairs. I'm gonna go say good morning to Uncle Nori." she shooed them playfully from the bathroom, the pair of them giggling the whole time. "Out you go." They bounced down the hall toward their bedroom, leaving her to once again meet her reflection in the mirror.  _If you let yourself break, he wins._

-

The smell of sizzling meat and eggs greeted her before she'd even gotten down the stairs. Of course Bombur had breakfast on. 

"By my beard, tis' the sleepin' beauty!" Nori claimed. Hawthorne felt the laugh bubbling in her throat trying desperately to push past the depression. The brightness of his laughing eyes was what finally cracked it. He smiled at her, pulling out a chair and offering her a cup of coffee. She took both gratefully, nodding at Bombur as he manned the stove. "Good mornin lass. We were hopin' you'd sleep a bit longer so we could feed the boys and let you stay in bed." The hard fist of the darkness in her head loosened just a little. Her smile became a bit more genuine.

"Are you kidding? Like I would miss bacon and pancakes?" The boys came bounding into the kitchen then, dispensing hugs and seating themselves eagerly at the island. "Manners boys." she reprimanded when they began to devour the pastry and pork on their plates. To their credit, they exchanged a look at her words, swallowed mouthfuls of pancake before saying thank you. "So how are things at the shop?" 

"Oh they're not that bad--" Nori began.

"Nobody's there right now--" Bombur said at the same time. Nori gave him a hard look which turned the wincing Bombur pink.  _What?_  

"Hmm?" She asked, not really paying attention, her mind only half in the conversation. 

"Bombur just mean that there's no clients at the shop right now. So the guys are just working on separate projects." Bombur nodded at Nori's explanation, his face turning down to the stove, not looking back at her.

"Hm. Is Thorin at the shop?" Thorn asked, spooning cream and sugar into her coffee as she watched the boys eat. Nori made a noncommital sound as Thorn picked her way through the plates with small portions. She didn't see the concerned look the two exchanged at her expense. She didn't want to explain that she couldn't eat much anymore because her stomach tended to only let her eat small quantities. Feeling their eyes, Thorn dug in, losing herself in the plate. Bombur engaged the boys in a lively debate about whether they were excited for school the following week, letting her gather her thoughts.

"Actually no. He wanted us to say he'd be home later than usual. Him and Dwalin are on an errand." Nori explained as he began to clean, his arms soapy with dishwater. Bombur scrubbed the stove and griddle, staying quiet. "I hope you don't mind, but Nori and I are gonna be hanging out here today." At her stunned look, Nori grimaced. "Thorin is out of town and wanted us to hang around the house in case you needed help with the boys." When her brain finally registered the words, she just nodded, going back to her food. Nori grabbed Bombur's arm, dragging him in the direction of the living room to set up the tv for the kids. Hawthorne pushed her plate away, sighing. Her stomach was full enough that it no longer ached but was perilously close to too much. Massaging the sensitive skin of her belly, she tried to ease the knot of tension away to go about her day. 

-

While the boy's were off to school, Thorn sequestered herself in the window of one of the upper bedrooms, sat in the sunshine with a book. The television provided soft background through the carpeted floor, adding an ambiance to her quiet moment. For a little while, she wasn't a young woman carrying the world on her shoulders. For a little while, she lost herself between pages of ink. Sadly, the book came to an end and she had to resurface into reality. Blinking, she discovered that almost six hours had passed since she'd cracked her new book. Fili and Kili would be home soon. Unfolding herself from the window, she stretched leisurely and made her way downstairs. Snoring could be heard from the living room as the movie played. Probably Bombur, she smiled to herself. They never changed. Fili and Kili however, changed constantly.

Her eyes flitted to the notched door frame covered in Sharpie. Scrawled names were spread across in wayward scraggles above each line in the frame.  _Fili & Kili- Age 2. Age 3. Age 4. Age 5._

She couldn't stop herself from remembering the brief time she'd been able to imagine her own notched door. The ache in her chest tightened briefly.  _Deep breath Thorny._  

Her fingers traced the etched carving at the top of the frame.  _Durin._ Their ancestry. What could have been her family. She exhaled loudly, clearing her throat. There wasn't time for a breakdown like this. The boys would be home any second. 

Brakes squeaked outside, alerting her. They were back. She made her way downstairs to open the door, noting that Kili bounced along behind Fili, a great big smile on his face.

"Guess what Thorny?" 

"What, baby?" 

"We saw the motorcycles today!" Kili grinned.

"Oh you saw Dad's motorcycle today? Him and Uncle Dwalin went out of town." she nodded, ushering the boys in. Fili piped in to clarify his brother's story.

"No, we saw alllll the motorcycles today. All ten!" Thorn nodded along until she heard _ten._ Then she froze. Minus Bombur and Nori, the company numbered ten. But that meant there wasn't anyone at the shop. That never happened.  _Ever._  

"Oh really?" She plastered a smile on her face, trying to keep her worry away from the boys. Kili started going on about his day, Fili interrupting to add his own moments. When the two of them realized their guests were still there, they bolted into the living room to wake them up, earning sleepy groans for their efforts. Thorn pulled out her cell to place a call to the shop. When she was answered by one of the girls at the desk, her worry became minimal panic. 

"Hi there, its Thorn, I was wondering if any of the guys were around?" 

"Oh hey Thorn. Actually everybody just peeled out of here no twenty minutes ago. Something about heading to the Palace." Thorn's blood drained from her face. "Did you wanna leave a message?" 

"No don't worry about it. Thanks for your help."

"Anytime hon."  _Click._  

The Palace. Even thinking the name had nausea rearing its ugly head again. Thorn had to take a minute to calm back down.  _Dammit Thorin._ How had he figured it out? How had he gotten the name out of her? Thorn collapsed on the bottom step of the stairs to the second level, her head in her hands.

What was she gonna do?

\--------------

**Thorin's POV**

The Palace was a gutter as far as Thorin was concerned. Gaudy purple and gold furnishings. It was the only other place to drink other than the Golden Dragon Tavern. It offered music and wine, but was really more of a high end socialites club. Thorin hated the place. He hated the choking perfume smell and the acrid stink of old wine. Even from across the parking lot, surrounded by gasoline and warm chrome, he could practically taste the cigar smoke.

"What's your plan lad?" Dwalin on his right, asked quietly. Thorin went over it once more in his head before explaining it to the Company.

"So you two in this door. You two, that one there. Gloin, you and Ori stay in the lot. If you don't hear from anyone within the first fifteen minutes, come in after us."

An affirmative among the group. The plan was a go. They advanced as one, separating at intervals to cover all the exits. Thorin strode in the front door with Dwalin at his back, anger thick in his veins. Frightened socialites stared back at him as he entered the establishment, him and his group of bikers like a plague. 

"I'm looking for Thranduil Greenleaf." Thorin said quietly. The group of people closest to him, blanched and gestured vaguely to the right sight of the establishment, where all of the female servers were hiding. Thorin's eyes softened for a second as he strode forward, his eyes cataloging the way they stood curled into themselves and each other. If he had to guess, they were under the same contract as Thorn. He walked toward them slowly, his hands in front of him where they could see him. "Hi." He whispered softly. "I'm looking for Thranduil. Can either of you tell me where he is?" The girls exchanged a look before the one of the younger looking girls stepped forward.

"The last time I saw him, he was in his office." She said quietly, her voice shaking slightly. Thorin inclined his head, waving Dwalin forward with him toward the back. The gold door sat alone at the end of the hall. Thorin spared it all of half a glance before lifting a booted foot and kicking the door open, shattering the lock. They prowled into the office, eyes peeled but finding nothing but a single smoking cigar in the ashtray. A piece of paper on the desk caught Thorin's eye, drawing him over to read it. He was startled to see his own name at the top, lifting it off the desk to read.

_Dear Thorin Oakenshield,_

_I suppose you're wondering where I've gone. Unfortunately I've no desire to reveal my whereabouts. I only wish that dear Hawthorne would reveal her true self to you as she has with me. She's not who you think she is. Would you really trust your nephews with a woman like this?_

A photo graph was flipped over and Thorin had to keep from exclaiming when he saw the image. It was Thorn spread-eagled to a bed, red welts all along her beautiful white skin, tear smudged mascara and a bandana in her mouth. He had to struggle not to shout or scream or throw something. 

_There's much more than this photo of course, she's a perverse woman. She's a slut. I hope you can realize it._

_I'm looking forward to the session I'll have with her tonight._

_Exceedingly eager,_

 

_\- Thranduil_

 

He crumpled the paper in his hands, still struggling not to see red.

"Burn it." Thorin growled. Taking the lit cigar, he caught the flame to the letter and dropped it on the desk, "Burn it to the ground."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DAMMIT THRANDY!


	15. The Night We Kissed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorn comes home after her session with Thranduil. Thorin is less than pleased, but makes an effort to reconcile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blaaaaaahh... God damn Thrandy
> 
> Again from Thorn's POV mostly, I'm trying not to switch back and forth between multiple POV's, but Thorin's input is definitely needed in some spots.

**Hawthorne's POV**

Thorn sat behind the wheel of her car panting, her breath fogging the windshield as she gripped the wheel til her knuckles were white.

It hurt.  _Everything hurt._   Usually he played with her, taunting with occasional pain. Tonight, it was like he'd been punishing her. Thorn could feel the bruises beginning to form across her abdomen and back, the red welts that were raised on her skin. Even the backs of her hands were purple. Ice. She needed lots of ice.

Looking toward the house, she noted the lights in the downstairs living room were on, along with the kitchen. Thorin's bike was parked out in front signalling his presence. Dammit. She'd been hoping to get through this without confrontation.  _Deep breath Thorny, we've got this. If you let yourself break, he wins._  

Wincing, Thorn shifted her body out of the car, praying for coordination. There was no way she could afford to collapse and pass out in the driveway, lest the neighbors know her dirty secret. Shambling her way up towards the house, each step was painful. Every stair to the front door was met with a grimace. Thorn glared at the heavy golden door knocker. Shaped like a dragon, she would swear it stared at her, judging the bruises on her pale skin, even as it roared silently.

"Yeah well fuck you too." Thorn cursed at it as she pulled the door open. She came to an abrupt halt when Thorin was sitting on the stairs in front of the door waiting for her, his chin braced on his clenched knuckles. His eyes were as haunted as hers felt. Thorin didn't say a single thing as he watched her slowly close the door behind her. He didn't move when she unlaced her boots and shed her coat gingerly. He didn't offer a hand when she had to brace herself against the banister in order to stay upright. When she could take the silence and his heavy stare no longer, she greeted him. "Hey."

"Hi." Anger. She could hear it thick in his voice. Barely restrained. "Can you walk?" An odd question to be sure, given her physical state. Remembering the last time he'd found her coming home, Thorn nodded quickly. "Good. Come upstairs." Without waiting to see if she followed, he stood and made his way up, footfalls echoing in the empty house. She had a choice. She could make a break for it, grab an ice pack and go hide in her room, or she could meet Thorin head on and see what he wanted.  _Coward,_ her inner voice whispered.  _Go find him._ Deep breath. Not trusting her own feet, she pulled herself up using the railing, dreading the lecture or fight that she was walking into. To her utter shock, she found Thorin in the bathroom, running the water for her. Steam coated the mirror and made the white tiles slick. His back was to her as he dipped a hand into the water.

"Get in." was all he said, not turning to acknowledge her presence. Not wanting to fight, Thorn stripped methodically, removing garments in order to minimize twinges of pain. Sweater, shirt, socks, and jeans. When she was left in nothing but her undergarments, she fought the burning in her cheeks and said his name. "What?"

"I...I need your help." He turned at that, raising an eyebrow but keeping his eyes solely on hers and away from her beaten and bruised body. "The..bra. I can't reach the clasps. I need your help." Sighing heavily, he stood, towering over her.

"Turn around Thorn." Thorin said gently. Raising her face to his, she searched his eyes for any clue, any sort of answer for what he was feeling, but found nothing. When Thorin offered no other words, she turned, facing the door, her back totally exposed to him and his piercing gaze. It was moments before she felt anything, so long in fact that she'd wondered if Thorin would actually help her at all. His touch was so light, like he was afraid he would break her just by touching her skin. His hands settled on her shoulders first, his palms warm as they slid down toward the clasp of her bra. His fingers were agile as they snapped each of the four apart, the fabric gaping open under his eyes. Hawthorne could hardly breathe as she felt Thorin's fingertips gently trace down her spine, resting his thumbs in the dimples of her back. "Thorn..." his voice was so quiet, she thought she'd imagined it. "You should get into the tub." His fingers slid back up and pushed the satin off her shoulders before he stepped away. Their close contact had only been brief, but she felt chilled by his sudden absence. Clearing her throat, she kept her eyes down as she dropped the rest of her clothes, pushed past Thorin and sunk into the hot water, wincing as it hit the fresh cuts and stretched muscles. The tub had been filled to almost the brim, allowing her to sink everything but her neck and knees beneath the water. There was no place for shyness in the steam filled bathroom. It wasn't like Thorin had never seen her naked anyway. 

"Say something Thorin, please." 

"I'd rather not." he growled back, avoiding her eyes. "Lean your head forward." Seeing that arguing would get her nowhere, she did as she was told, surprised when she felt shampoo and conditioner being worked through her tangled locks. She'd assumed he wouldn't want to touch her.. that he'd avidly try not to. That she would disgust him. 

"Thorin..?"

"Hawthorne Elizabeth Greenwing, for once in your life, can you please be quiet?" Voice firm, he pulled on the roots of her hair with a soaped hand. He meant it. "We'll talk after." She gave up after that, keeping her bubbling words to herself as she allowed Thorin to wash her hair and then her shoulders, pulling her to her feet to run the soap covered sponge over her skin. Though her skin was pink from the hot bath, she flushed even more as she stood there in front of him. When she chanced a look at his face though, he gave nothing away, acting purely methodical as he gauged her pain based on how she reacted to pressure on her skin. When she nearly slipped, she found her hands gripping the oil stained grey tee shirt, feeling the corded muscles beneath her palms. Again, he gave her nothing. The shower head was turned on to rinse her body and hair. When her skin was clean, he lifted her out, setting her on her feet between his, wrapping her in a large fluffy white towel. When Thorin made to move away, Hawthorne couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed his wrist with one hand, using the other to hold the towel tight to her chest.

"Thorin, please. Please say  _something._ " she pleaded. "Shout, scream. Say SOMETHING!" 

**Thorin's POV**

Looking at her, it hurt. To see the bruises on her skin resemble fingerprints and to recognize the welts on her wrists and ankles as rope burns. It killed him to think that while he'd been torching the Palace, trying so hard to destroy something that bastard loved, Thorn had been under his hand. Salt tracks down her cheeks from tears. When she'd walked in the door, he'd tried very very hard not to shout. Knowing his temper and knowing Hawthorne's was just as fierce, he'd begged Dwalin to take the boys for the night. Thorin gazed down at her now as her temper began to flare. Her skin was flushed pink and she looked so gorgeous in that moment that it took all of his willpower not to lean down and plant his lips somewhere above that absurdly white towel. Aule, she was beautiful.

"You want me to say something?" he whispered to her, his eyes drawn deep into the verdant green of hers. She nodded in frustration, biting her lip in a way he knew she didn't mean to be seductive. Gathering all of his willpower, he leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Then walk down that hall, open my door, and crawl into my bed." He'd shocked her, he knew that well enough when her pert mouth gaped open, her eyes wide. Stepping aside, he opened the bathroom door and gave her a quick spank to send her down the hall. When she leveled an annoyed glare at him, he knew he had her on the ropes. But as she sidled down to his bedroom and stepped inside, Thorin decided that was a sigh he could get used to for the rest of his life. 

She was fragile, he reminded himself. Evidence of it was plain enough on her skin. She'd been bruised, cut and beaten. All in one night. And now he was hard pressed to keep himself away from her.  _Patience,_ he had to remember. She was hurting. Looking in the mirror, he rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. Maybe what he needed was something slow. He needed her. He'd known that since he'd laid eyes on her all those years ago. 

Searching the cabinets, he pulled down a bottle of body oil he'd bought for a laugh one drunken night. Uncapping it, he let the rich almond scent soothe his nerves. Maybe that was what she needed, to be soothed. The fire in her veins still bubbled under the surface, he'd just seen proof of that. But did her heart still beat for him? The way it had all those years ago, when they'd been young and in love? When he looked at her, he still saw her sitting at that cafeteria table, pulling her shiny copper penny hair out at the roots in frustration. He still heard the way she stumbled over herself when she'd told him she loved him. But most of all, he saw the tears in her eyes when she'd told him he was going to be a father. 

He wouldn't let grief swallow her. He wouldn't leave her alone.

Thorin loved her, no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of love to my readers ! You guys keep me going !


	16. Why Do I Miss the Way You Kissed Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin tries to make headway with Hawthorne but fear and trauma keep our girl from the happiness she deserves.  
> Only in Thorn's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times... DAMMIT THRANDY!

_"Then walk down that hall, open my door, and crawl into my bed."_  

Her heart raced as she strode down the quiet hallway, water pooling in her footsteps on the hardwood. He couldn't mean it. It simply wasn't possible. He didn't want..her? He couldn't. 

....Could he?

The doorknob to his room was cold to touch but also served to further ground her in the fact that this was reality. The moment she cleared the threshold, all she could smell, see and feel was Thorin. The scent of his aftershave and the innate musk he seemed to carry with him were heavy in the air. She'd never been in this room, no matter that she'd lived in the house for almost six weeks. Any time she did laundry, she left it folded in a basket by his doorway. He always took meals in the kitchen or living room with her and the boys. This space belonged solely to him.

Closing the door behind her, Thorn kept the towel clutched tightly to her still damp skin as her eyes wandered. Dark blue walls with three large windows opposite the door. A streetlight illuminated the green football jersey that hung on the far wall, BMU emblazoned proudly on the fabric. A wry smile curled her lips. She had fond memories of that jersey. Trophies littered the shelving above the dresser for multiple sports. Thorin's diplomas and degree in mechanical engineering were framed neatly as they hung over the desk crowded with papers and ledgers. Hawthorne couldn't contain her smile. In certain aspects of his life, he would never change. And his  _bed._ A large king sized bed framed with ebony wood, it dominated the room. His black sheets were slightly mussed, likely from the last night he'd spent in it. She could bet her life's savings that it smelled like nothing but Thorin. What she wouldn't give to lay down.... 

_He_ told _you to crawl into his bed, didn't he?_ That wicked inner voice taunted her.  _Might as well... Even if this is the last time you get the opportunity._  

"Be quiet." Hawthorne whispered to the empty room. Maybe this was her life turning around for the better. Maybe this last beating at Thranduil's hands was a sign that she'd finally be free.. and the bed did look incredibly  _comfy._ Maybe if she only laid down for a moment. 

Not caring about her damp hair, Thorn pulled back the covers and slid in, sighing in utter contentment. They weren't quite satin, but it was definitely a material that closely resembled it. It caressed her skin and made her forget all about the ugly bruises she'd have in the morning. For right now, she didn't have to worry about that. For right now, she could be a young woman in the bed of a handsome man. Whether or not that became anything was entirely dependent on Thorin. Hawthorne was ashamed of her body and how it had been used so brutally, but she knew instinctively that Thorin would never ever hurt her. If she ever found a way to be free... Hawthorne swore on her life that she would confess her feelings. Sighing deeply, she hardly noticed it when she slid effortlessly into sleep. 

-

Something warm slid over her neck and shoulders. Something coarse, warm and coated in something slick that smelled absolutely fabulous... Thorn rose to consciousness slowly, breathing deep to pull more of that delicious scent into her lungs. It woke something in her as she realized that she was being  _touched._ Those were hands on her shoulders working her sore muscles.  _Almond._ That was the smell on her skin. Thorn arched as the raw strength in those hands helped soothe the aches in her spine and back. The towel she'd been wrapped in had somehow come undone and was now draped modestly across her hips as she lay face-down in Thorin's pillows. A low chuckle on her right side as those impossibly strong hands continued to work her into a soft gooey mess. It occurred to her that she shouldn't be there, but the light scrape of Thorin's nails down her back caused that small errant thought to flee. If this was a dream, she would kill the person who woke her. It felt like a dream, and she only ever allowed herself to think this way when she was in fact alone in bed with naught but her thoughts to keep her company.

The muscles in her neck were treated with care, her head angled this way and that to stretch the ligaments, her shoulders given the same care. As his hands worked further south, her ears perked at the sound of a bottle being uncorked and the feeling of a warm liquid drizzled on her skin, that amazing smell bursting in her nose again.  _Mm almond..._  Her fingers tightened their grip on the pillow when Thorin's thumbs rested once more in the dimples of her back, pressing in gently. She might've heard him whisper her name, but she couldn't be sure over the sound of her whimpering as her body once again began to feel like her own. When Thorin's hands disappeared, she mourned the loss before she was startled by the feeling of warm oil on the backs of her thighs. When his touch followed, Thorn jumped slightly under his fingers.

"Shh... baby I've got you."  _That voice... oh gods, maybe this was real..._  She settled back against the sheets, still wary, but was easily wooed back into that mellow state by the feel of his hands on her skin. Her thighs had been bright red with cane marks when she'd gotten home, and she braced for the pain she knew would come with them being touched. None came. All she felt was the gentle, quiet strength of Thorin. "I've got you." he reassured her, his hands working magic. 

Maybe it was the oil, maybe it was the sheets that smelled so much like him, or maybe it was the bath, or all three, but her body, bruised and sore the way it was, responded to him. His voice and his touch. Through all its torment, her body  _remembered_ when it had been worshiped by his hands and mouth. When it had felt the pleasant ache of an afternoon spent without clothes. Despite her shame, her body grew warm and wet for him. 

"Thorin.." she murmured. Damn her, but her need was obvious in her voice.

"Hm?" Those marvelous hands stopped mid thigh, his thumbs placed dangerously close to the place she wanted him most. "What is it baby?"

"I.." she trailed off, her focus still zeroed in on the placement of those digits making circles closer and closer to that ache deep in her body. She opened her mouth to respond just as Thorin said, "Tell me what you want." 

Hawthorne froze, all the warmth disappearing from her body. The black hair became blond and those blue eyes that she loved so much became cruel. Nausea rolled thick and heavy  in her gut. Her eyes flew open and her heart thudded painfully as she tossed off Thorin's hands, snatched her towel to her naked body and fled. 

"Thorn!" he called after her. She didn't hear him as she raced back to the bathroom to empty the meager contents of her stomach. Face down in the toilet bowl, she cringed away from the hands that gently pulled the hair back from her face and rubbed her back consolingly. Heaving until nothing came up, Thorn panted against the porcelain as she flushed, moving away from his hands to curl up on the floor, her cheek pressed to the now cold tiles. Thorin, bless his heart, wet a cloth with cold water and wiped down her brow, neck and shoulders. Thorn didn't feel it when the tears slipped down her cheek but she felt the warm swipe of his thumb under each of her eyes. "What did I do, Thorn?" he asked gently, removing his hands from her but staying close. "What happened?" It broke her heart, his gentle support.

"It wasn't you.." she croaked. "I.. "  _Deep breath._ "I panicked. He.. Thranduil," she choked on the name, "He made me beg. He made me say things." Thorin's sharp intake of breath as he realized his mistake. 

"I am sorry amralime." One of his hands carded through her hair, massaging her scalp comfortingly. Unable to take the pain in his voice, Thorn pulled herself off the floor and sank into his arms, relishing the sound and feel of his steady heartbeat. 

"You couldn't know. I wish you didn't have to see me this way." Thorn drew in a deep shuddering breath. "I wish I wasn't broken like this." 

"Thorn.."

"You couldn't know Thorin, because I've been too dumb to say it." He pulled back to look into her eyes questioningly. "I.. I love you, Thorin Oakenshield. I never stopped, and even though my body is in shambles, my heart is not, and I'm ready to give it to you."

For a long while, Thorin said nothing. Then his eyes lit up and he smiled before pressing a kiss to her brow.

"Thorny my girl. I can't give you my heart, 'cuz I already lost it to you a long time ago." Sobering, he continued. "I know you're not in the best of shape right now, which is why I'm taking us on a vacation."

Thorn blinked stupidly. "What?" Thorin grinned at her dumbfounded look.

"You, me and the boys. We're leaving tomorrow." 

 


	17. A Love of Sand and Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arrival and Day 1 of Vacation for our love birds. A few partial pieces will be in Thorin's POV. It'll be brief but his parts are VERY important in the next few chapters as Thorny grows out of her shell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayyyy for vacation time! Will Thorin find a way to climb Hawthorne's walls or will Thranduil always stand between them?

_"We're going on vacation."_

Twelve hours later and she still couldn't believe it. 

Hawthorne stood next to Thorin in the Rivendell airport, Fili braced on her hip and still couldn't believe that in mere moments she would be boarding a plane and flying to a remote island. With Thorin. And their boys. Kili rode high on Thorin's shoulders, telling Fili about all that he could see from his perch.

A warm squeeze on her palm drew her eyes up to Thorin's. He smiled gently at her like he knew what she was thinking.

"It's real babe. We're here and we're going." Leaning over, he kissed her cheek, much to the disgust of his nephews. Amid the chorus of 'ew's and yuck's' Hawthorne found her smile. 

Maybe things would be alright. 

-

After a long flight, Hawthorne held a sleeping Fili to her chest as they departed the plane, her eyes cast around in wonder. 

Seven hours after they'd departed, Hawthorne shucked off her sandals and buried her toes in white sand, tasting the salt on the air from the ocean and the warm breeze caressed her skin, tousling her hair. Adorned in a [pastel purple sundress](https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/142356038197763182/?lp=true), the warm air curled her hair against her shoulders. Thorin carried a snoozing Kili against his neck, looking utterly adorable in his blue tank top and black jeans, hair tangled from Kili's fingers being buried in it. 

"The stars look lovely." she whispered, watching the way the starlight and the moon played on the waves. The island was gorgeous. Somewhere halfway during their trip, they'd switched planes for a smaller one that had taken them to this small island. A friend of Thorin's waved from the cockpit as he took off once more, leaving them stranded on the sands, bags at their feet. 

"Yes they do." Thorin replied, coming to stand behind her, his breath warm on her bare neck. "And so do you." Her face flushed a bright pink, her inner voice sighing with love. This man... he'd loved her when she'd been whole and now that she was shattered, he was going to help her pick up the pieces. When she felt his lips on her shoulders, Hawthorne began to stutter.

"We...we should get the boys settled." Hawthorne slipped out from under his shadow and began making her way toward the two level beach cottage. A large front deck with white wicker chairs and a love-seat swing, a front entryway that belonged to a mansion. She could hardly believe her eyes as she saw the  _chandelier_ hanging over the stairs. THIS was a cottage? No way. So in awe was she that she didn't hear Thorin mount the deck and come stand by her side. "Where are we?" Thorin gave her a sad smile.

"This was my sister's summer home. Her and her husband bought it not six weeks before they...." he swallowed hard. "Before they passed." Her heart contracted painfully as Thorin cleared his throat, shifting Kili to sit a little more comfortably against his chest. "Come on, the boy's have their own bedroom on the second floor." 

It was something out of a dream, Hawthorne thought as she followed Thorin up the stairs. Every doorway was opulent, yet casual. It looked like a house that had known love. Pictures hung on every wall, some of Dis and her sons playing in the water here, some of her marriage day. At the end of the hallway hung a painting that made her heart beat ferociously in her chest, making her stop dead. 

A gold leaf frame housed a family portrait of the Durin line. There was Dis, her sons and her husband, Thorin, Thrain and... Thror. Even painted, his eyes were cruel and hard. No affection. Thorin had disappeared into what she had to assume was the boys bedrooms, not realizing that she stood rooted to the carpet as fear raced through her.  _Deep breath, it's just a painting._ Forcing herself to walk, Hawthorne turned into the room she'd seen Thorin enter, keeping her eyes away from the painting, as she took in the sight of Thorin tucking Kili into bed. This man, she sighed internally. He would be the death of her. As Kili snuggled into the pillows, she watched as Thorin stroked a knuckle down his nephews cheek, smiling. To see all that raw strength constrained and gentled made her heart ache. Fili's bed was across the room from his brother's, only about eight or ten feet, but they usually ended up crawling into the same bed anyway, so Hawthorne tucked Fili in, watching with a maternal pride as he curled into his brother, tucking Kili's head under his own. 

Thorin's hand was warm on her arm, drawing her back out of the room to close the door gently. 

"How are you feeling love?" he whispered, pulling her into his arms gently. Despite the cover-up she'd applied that morning, they were both painfully aware of the bruises that decorated her skin. He ran a hand over her shoulders comfortingly and Hawthorne felt herself melt, her arms finding their way up and around his broad shoulders, feeling his warmth seep into her.

"At this very moment? Just fine." Hawthorne muttered against his chest, his heartbeat steady and firm. She wasn't sure if she'd started to fall asleep, but when Thorin poked her in the nose, she knew she was exhausted. "We should go get the bags.... I think they're still on the porch."

"Let me show you your room love." he chuckled, "You're fallin' asleep on your feet." Thorin pressed a kiss to her forehead as he set her away and took her hand, leading her down the hall. There were two doors left and Thorin opened the one to show her a large sea-foam green room with a queen sized bed, decorated with gossamer white curtains. She loved it instantly. Windows stretched floor to ceiling, giving her an excellent view of the rolling waves crashing into the white sand. 

"Its beautiful Thorin." Pulled back into his embrace once more, Thorin fingers on her chin gently tilted her face to his as his lips found hers. His kiss was almost like a question, as his mouth moved on hers. It was sweet, it was slow, it was an invitation for more and an offering to wait, all at the same time. Hawthorne found herself conflicted. She so desperately wanted this rugged mountain of a man, but in her heart, she knew her body wasn't ready. With much regret, she ended the kiss, burying her head under his chin. "Thorin.."

"Shh. Baby, I'm not rushing you. It's okay." She felt him smile against her hair. "You go crawl into bed, I'll bring your bags up." Another warm kiss to her forehead before he nudged her toward the downy bed. "Get some sleep amralime. The boys will have us up early I'm sure." Her door closed and Hawthorne felt all of the energy leave her at once, propelling her toward the bed, where she collapsed fully dressed and slipped effortlessly into sleep.

-

**Day One**

Thorn found her way down the opulent stairway to find Thorin wearing only black jeans, barefoot, in the kitchen. Delicious scents of bacon and eggs and hashbrowns filled her nose, settling her stomach in a way she'd long given up on. Yielding to an urge, Hawthorne said nothing, but strode confidently up behind Thorin and wrapped her arms around his bare waist and pressed herself flush against him, humming contentedly against his warm skin. Gods he was so warm, and there was so much of him to hold onto.

"Good morning Ghivashel. Did you sleep well?" 

"Mmm.. yes I did." Still almost half asleep, she couldn't hear those tiny voices that usually berated her. Without that hangup, Hawthorne found herself pressing small kisses to his bare shoulders, relishing the warmth against her lips. A soft groan floated to her ears, but did nothing but encourage her lips to roam. Not thinking, she traced the dragon tattoo on his right shoulder with her tongue, feeling him shudder under her mouth.

"Thorn..." His hands covered hers, clenching her fingers tightly as one of her hands moved further south, toying with the brass button of his jeans teasingly. Another groan reached her ears, but it wasn't until Thorin turned around and pulled her tight into his body with a searing kiss that she realized where she was and what she was doing. 

"I.." She stepped back out of his embrace. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I must have still been asleep." Thorin reached out for her slowly, breathing deep to try and keep from ravaging her on the countertop. Pulling her back into his arms, he claimed her lips. It was a softer kiss than he'd have liked to give, something he made obvious by pulling her hips flush to his. The brief sweet sound of pleasure she made was music to his ears before he let her go.

"You didn't get changed this morning, not that I don't love this dress. Your bags were just inside your door amralime. Why don't you go get changed and I'll finish breakfast? Fili and Kili are out on the beach and I've got a full day planned for us." Thorin bestowed one more brief kiss on her lips before turning back to the stove. "Coffee will be ready by the time you get back." 

 -

**Thorin's POV**

As he watched her disappear back up the stairs, Thorin had to take a deep breath and close his eyes as the feel of her hands and lips ghosted over him one more time. Things had been easy like that once. When she would come up to him and make her desires known with no hesitation. Gods, he missed that. He missed her lips under his and the feel of her body under his hands. It was getting harder and harder to keep his hands to himself, if he was being totally honest with the beast that raged under his skin. He ached for her, day and night.  When she'd been soft and sleepy the night before, he hadn't been able to stop himself from stealing a kiss. It had only wet his appetite and he had every intention of coming back for more, but when he'd seen her passed out across the bed, he'd smiled to himself and rearranged her under the covers. Kissed her forehead and left her to her dreams, hopefully without a nightmare. 

Fully intending to sleep in his sister's old room, Thorin had gotten as far as the doorway before he'd turned around and closed the door, opting for the couch downstairs. It had been only eight months since her death and Thorin could still see the smile on her face when they'd left that morning. Her ghost still chilled him and there was no way he could stay in the room that had been hers less than a year ago. The couch hadn't been that bad anyway, a little short for his 6'2" length, but beggars couldn't be choosy. 

Hawthorne was worth any wait. He'd cut off his hands before he'd cause her any pain or any discomfort, and though it killed him, he'd keep from touching her until she came to him first. He only hoped she wanted him as much as he was dying for her. 

-

**Hawthorne's POV**

Mirror's didn't lie, she supposed, taking in her own appearance. The rosiness in her cheeks was her own fault, having let her body run away with itself and get wrapped around the muscular man downstairs. A blush lit her cheeks to think of the feeling of a hot blooded male flush against her body. A simple few layers of clothing had been between them, but she'd still been able to feel just how much he wanted her. Truth be told, if he'd reached beneath her dress.. he would've found just how much she desired him too. Bruised or not, Thorn ached. The slick between her thighs made it clear that she wanted Thorin and no other.

"Dammit." she muttered, trying hard to clear her head of the hormones. Even her heart betrayed her, racing in the cage of her body. "Grow up Thorn, it was just a kiss." Sliding the purple sundress down her body, she let it pool on the plush carpet. The leopard print bruising was getting better, only now just yellowing. Running a hand from her hair down to her stomach, she marveled at her body's capacity for change. No longer the stringy teen she'd been when she'd first loved Thorin, her thighs had filled out, hips just slightly wider than they'd been. Her shoulders were broader, her breasts were fuller and heavier, and her stomach was no longer flat, but curved gently. Her face was thinner, having lost its baby fat, her cheeks becoming more prominent and her lips were softer. It was bruised and battered, but it was hers. Taking a deep breath, Thorn blew her reflection a kiss, standing barefoot in nothing but her bra and panties.  _Carpe diem bitch._ She was healing and she was  _happy._ Her troubles were miles away and there was a man downstairs who wanted her as savagely as she craved him. 

So fuck Thranduil. She was going to enjoy every moment with her man and their boys. 

Picking out the [bright red bikini](https://www.dynamiteclothing.com/ca/bikini-bottom/p/100042272.product?LGWCODE=0459601%3b144445%3b8769&_&colour=329&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9ZDeBRD9ARIsAMbAmoYoqwvWOh5k-BmPU2FtKFgBeh-2p7gzMabbDKqborPZshT0B14ddsMaAvwMEALw_wcB) she'd packed, Hawthorne grinned back into the mirror. Thorin wouldn't known what hit him. 

-

Thorn made her way back downstairs with a simple pair of white denim shorts being the only clothing she'd put over top of the bikini. She knew the exact moment that Thorin saw her, feeling his burning gaze on the skin she was displaying. A smile played on her lips as she hopped onto one of the bar stools, pulling a mug of coffee across the marble top gratefully. She peeked in the cup and was pleased to see and smell that it was already prepped the way she loved. Thorin hadn't said a word. Plates were heaped with food and she put her own plate together, popping bacon into her mouth, nearly moaning at the heavenly flavor. 

"So what did you have planned for today?" Hawthorne asked around a mouthful of scrambled eggs. Sure, it was messy and definitely not sexy, but the look on his face tickled her feminine pride too much. He coughed, clearing his throat before answering.

"I uh. I was going to suggest snorkeling over on the west side of the island. The boys loved it the last time we were here, and I figured it would give you a few hours to lounge on the beach." Was he stuttering? Did his eyes wander down the red silk? "A..a tan would look gorgeous on you." 

"I think I'll come with you." Another two strips of bacon, a piece of toast and the rest of her scrambled eggs was perfect to fill her stomach. So long as she didn't think about.... _him_. "Gods know, I'll probably end up lounging in the water." 

"Oh. Okay. Yeah, let me.. just go get changed." Hawthorne swiveled the chair to see Thorin stumbling to the couch to get to his bags. 

"Did you sleep on the couch last night?" she asked, hoping the answer was no.

"Yeah. I uh, couldn't sleep in my sister's room." He wouldn't meet her eyes as he rifled through his bags, finding a pair of dark green swim trunks. Was her mouth watering? "I'll be right back. Fili and Kili were attempting to make a sand castle the last time I looked out the window. Would you mind checking on them?"  Thorin made a hasty exit back up the stairs, much to her amusement. Dutifully washing her plate, Thorn gazed out to see Fili building sand walls while Kili dug deep into the moist sand.  _Oh boys..._  

So her day was spent in the sun and sand with her boys. Her skin tanned beautifully while they snorkeled in the lagoon on the far side of the island, the boys exclaiming over every brightly coloured fish and turtle that they saw. When the splashing began, Hawthorne teamed up with the boys to thoroughly soak Thorin, even helping them dunk him under. After snorkeling, Hawthorne and the boys buried Thorin up to his chin in white sand, and while the boys were preoccupied with building a castle  _on top_ of Thorin, she snuck in a kiss. Not a simple sweet kiss, but one that conveyed every burning thought in her head. If Thorin's eyes were darker and his pupils blown large, well, Hawthorne didn't feel guilty in the least. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note for my readers: The week that Thorin and Hawthorne take for vacation will NOT be broken up into individual chapters per each day. The next chapter will kind of gloss over at least three days.


	18. A Peak!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter isn't really a chapter, it's more of a visual nudge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case anyone wanted to know what the beach/cottage looked like!!

The Cabin in all its glory

 

Hawthorne's Bedroom

Dis's Master Bedroom

Kitchen

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda dumb I know, but rather than going through a whole chapter of just cabin description I figured I would show everyone the images in my head.


	19. Good Morning Handsome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yay for Vacation and Morning Time Sexiness!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Flings smut chapter at the rabid wolves and hides behind boulder*

Each day was filled with magic, Hawthorne found herself thinking. Each day she spent on this island, some dark corner of her beaten and broken soul lit back up and knit together. Every carefree laugh from the twins, every secret smile she exchanged with Thorin, Thorn was picking up the pieces of her wrecked self and forging a new sense of purpose. A new reason to live. A new reason to do more than  _exist._

She hadn't touched Thorin since that first morning, other than the occasional arm around his waist. She'd wanted to.  _Gods did she ever want to._

He was constantly shirtless. Thank Aule for that. Hawthorne was free to ogle and sigh in dreamy contentment as she watched his body move. The tattoo of the dragon on his shoulder always made her cheeks flush pink. As did the two silver barbells pierced into his chest. She'd never noticed before, given that Thorin was never really shirtless around the house, but she sure as hell was noticing now. A second tattoo was lovingly inked between his shoulder blades, the mountain range they all called home and the third lay directly over his heart. His sister's name inked in white. Thorn's eyes grew slightly misty every time she saw it. 

After three days on the island, Hawthorne realized that she'd fallen in love all over again. 

-

Thorn woke up to a solid warm weight tucked against her back, a heavy arm over her waist, and light rumbling snore in her ear. 

And a pounding in her head.

She groaned as she sat up between the sheets, noting there was a comforter over her, acting as a barrier between her and the man that slumbered on top of her covers. Her tongue was sluggish in her mouth, feeling like a wad of cotton between her teeth. Sunlight filtered between the gossamer curtains, dust motes flying in the breeze from the fan that lazed overhead. His arm was still warm on the bare skin of her midriff. Wait. Why was he in her bed? Hastily, she pulled the covers off her legs and confirmed that she was in fact wearing pyjamas. The absent soreness between her thighs again reaffirmed her immediate panicked thought. 

They hadn't had sex. 

"What happened?" she whispered to the sleeping giant. "Why are we here?"  Thorin snuffled in his sleep, black ruffled hair slipping over his brows. Hawthorne gently brushed them back behind his ear, lightly scratching Thorin's beard. When he didn't wake, Hawthorne chanced a glance around the room and groaned out loud.

Not one.

Not two.

Not even three.

 **Four** _empty_ wine bottles.

Another shuddering glance counted an empty ice cream container, multiple chocolate wrappers and an empty bag of Doritos. Her stomach roiled just looking at the mayhem. Mildly concerned about what she'd ingested, Hawthorne poked Thorin in the chest unceremoniously. 

"Thorin. Thorin wake up!" 

To her utter annoyance, Thorin slept peacefully through her nudging. Sighing heavily, she weighed her options. One, she could sneak out of her own room and grab a shower or two, she could keep trying to wake Thorin to get answers. Judging by the silence coming from the other side of her door, the boys weren`t up yet, meaning it was early still. Levelling a glare at the man snuggled into her pillows, Thorn gave herself two seconds to debate then put all her might into pushing him off the bed. Her legs strained to push his bulk without her tossing herself off the opposite edge of the bed. With a loud thump, Thorin hit the carpet with a  _very_ loud `WHAT THE FUCK` Even the bed shuddered. Silently trying to contain her laugh, a very dishevelled head of black curls emerged at the side of the bed, blue eyes pinned on her.

"Darling, would you care to explain?" 

"Why sweetheart, how did you end up down there?" Her face was the picture of innocence. Picking himself up off the floor, Thorin scrubbed a hand over his eyes. A fleeting glance across his bare chest had Thorn clenching her thighs together. She knew first hand how warm his skin was. How easy it would be to lean forward and press her lips somewhere.  _Behave!_ Her subconscious snapped. 

Thorin gave her a sleepy smile before he climbed back into bed, this time settling himself under the sheets with her. Hawthorne had a flicker of panic settle in her chest when her back was once more flush against his broad chest, but it quickly settled as one of his arms wrapped around her raise and the other was tucked under her neck. Warmth seeped into her, lulling her back into relaxation.

"Thorin?" She whispered.

"Hmm?" 

"How did you end up in my bed?" Her voice only trembled a little. The warm hand on her waist pulled back slightly.

"Did you want me to leave amralime?" All traces of sleep gone, she knew if she asked, Thorin would be out the door in a heartbeat. Weighing her risks and benefits, Hawthorne bit her lip as she debated her next move. Slowly, carefully, Thorn shifted under Thorin's arm, bringing herself face to face with him. His arm tightened around her waist, pulling her in close. 

"No." she murmured, the heat of his body almost scorching. "Don't leave." Leaning forward, Thorn laid her cheek against his chest, feeling his heart thundering. "Stay Thorin, please." One of her hands wandered down his chest, catching on the slacks he'd worn to bed. His swift intake of breath told her all she needed to know. He wanted this as much as she did, but how far was she willing to take it? 

"Thorn," he breathed, his breath warm on her lips. "Baby, are you sure--" Her lips caught his and all thoughts of regret or waiting vanished. His mouth was so warm in contrast to hers, like the sun burned under his skin. Thorin's hands tightened on her, pulling her over and onto his lap. Hawwthorne shuddered to feel undeniable proof of his wanting her tight against her core. Even through the slacks he wore and the pyjama shorts that rode high on her hips, she had no doubts. He wanted her, she wanted this. And what she wanted, she wanted  _bad. "Thorn.."_ he whispered again, the sound becoming much more of a moan on his lips. 

"Thorin, I want this." her eyes were glazed, she was sure. Her chest heaved with her erratic breathing and her heart raced beneath her breast. "Please." 

Her whimpered word broke his restraint. One of the hand on her hip slid up her back and tangled in her hair, pulling her back down to his lips. His mouth ravaged hers, all sleepiness fled from her limbs as her own fingers found Thorin's dark curls. When she could take no more, Hawthorne leaned her forehead against his shoulder, giving his lips free reign to explore her neck and the hollow of her shoulder. A moan slipped past her lips, much louder than she'd intended and she buried her face in his neck out of sheer embarassment.

"Shh, love." Thorin chuckled, his other hand rubbing circles across her back. "You have to be quiet." His eyes twinkled. "Can you do that for me?" Barely able to form words, Thorn bit her lip and nodded. "Good." Moving swiftly, Thorin rolled and slid her next to him like she'd orginally been situated, this time his hands roamed more, scorching hot paths across her skin. 

"Thorin, please..." Hawthorne groaned, her thighs tightly clenched as one of his hands tightened in her hair, the other gliding down her stomach lazily, his path unmistakable. He laughed against her hair.

"Don't worry baby. I'll take care of you." Her white tank top was pulled up, gently revealing the curve of her belly. Warm flesh met hers. How was he so warm and not burning up? Fingers played teasingly with the band of her shorts, driving her crazy with want. Her lip was likely going to split with how hard she bit down on the moan bubbling in her throat. She didn't care at this point, not as his fingers slid furthur down and took the shorts with them. Completely bare now, Hawthorne could only hold her breath as his fingers teased through the fine hair at the apex of her thighs, teasingly roaming south, meeting no resistance before her drenched core. He groaned, the sound reverberating through his chest. "Gods baby you're so wet for me." Thorn could only offer a moan in reply. Without warning, one of this thick fingers plunged into her core, ripping a soft gasping cry from her.

"Thorin." she panted. "Thorinnnn..." Hawthorne moaned as his finger moved slowly, torturously inside her. Slick poured out of her, allowing Thorin to slip another finger into her, stretching her walls with near painful pleasure. She began to pant as the coil in her stomach began to tighten. His fingers moved faster, his thumb snaking up to rub circles on her clit, sending spikes of heat through her. 

"I've got you baby, I've got you." Her eyes were blind now as that coil built, her core tight around him. Her nails dug into his scalp and his shoulders, but he merely embraced it, his lips and tongue seeking out her ear and neck. Feeling the beginnings of her climax clenching, Thorin bit down on the soft hollow of her neck and she cried out. "Come on baby, go. Go Thorn. Let go baby." 

And she did.

Sparkling white flashed behind her eyes as that coil exploded, wringing every drop of pleasure from her. Thorin's fingers were trapped between her thighs as she rode out her orgasm, her walls clenched tight. 

"Gods you're beautiful like this." Thorin murmured, kissing her forehead gently. His fingers slid out of her gently, slowly. Turning her head, Hawthorne captured him in a kiss and thought to herself,  __ _is thi_ s  _what I've been missing?_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Its my very first so please no hate, but I'd love feedback!!


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